Would You Love a Monsterman
by ChiefPam
Summary: What if R and Julie never made it to the airport? What if, instead of being forced to spend time getting to know R, Julie was free to choose? Why would she choose to love a monsterman? AU breaking off from canon about 15 minutes into the movie. A look at how things might have been different.
1. Would You Love a Monsterman

_A/N –I like to explore what-ifs. I really shouldn't be posting it, though, because I'm doing NaNoWriMo and that starts Saturday. I'm going to have to write quickly to get this one finished. I guess I could consider it training for NaNo. But the story seems to want to be told, and who am I to say no to a good story? Story title is from one of my music videos, btw._

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><p>Would You Love a Monsterman<p>

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><p>All I can hear is the quiet shuffling of undead feet, with the occasional low groan. I'm shuffling along with the rest of the pack, blood drying on my cheek. Not my blood, though. I haven't been hurt. These creatures around me killed almost my entire salvage team. But I wasn't even injured.<p>

The one I thought was going to kill me… didn't. Not yet. It put the blood on me, and then pulled me up from the floor and into the incurious hoard. It's still nearby; as we walk I can see him at the corner of my eye. Sometimes nearer, sometimes farther away, but always there. Usually staring at me.

Reality seems very unreal, right now. Memories and thoughts pop up and then disappear like soap bubbles.

Fighting with Perry. I'd insulted him. And now he's dead. I didn't see a body but he must be, or he'd have come after me.

Nora, held up in the air. I'd shot the corpse holding her, and they'd both dropped to the floor, out of my view. Nora, hiding under a desk as I was pulled out of there by the corpse holding me.

Dad, any number of times, too preoccupied to pay any attention to me. Would he even notice I was gone? He might be too busy trying to run the city and maintain the uninfected human race a few years longer.

That snow globe. So out of place, in the chaos and violence. Even the corpse had noticed it. It's in his pocket now.

Red hoodie, halfway zipped up, two front pockets. Dirty and stained, over a dirtier t-shirt. There's a new hole in it now. Where I threw the knife.

It had looked so confused. Pulling the knife out of its chest and dropping it on the ground, still coming straight at me.

A sudden loud noise makes me jump. It takes my weary brain a moment to process that it was gunfire. I look up.

Before I can see anything, red hoodie collides with me, and we both fall to the ground. Was it hit? Why would it care, unless it was killed… hope flares for a moment. I wiggle, and its arms tighten around me. It's not just fallen on me, it's holding me. A dead weight on top of me.

More gun fire. The corpse on top of me jerks twice, but doesn't let go. His head is near mine, and he's mumbling something, but I can't tell what.

Silence. The gunfire's stopped. Was it the army? An unfamiliar voice calls something that sounds like "Nets!" which makes no sense. Until I feel another weight land near my cheek. I turn my head and see what looks like a rope.

A sudden thud knocks the corpse to one side. Its arms loosen, and I roll away from it. I squint up towards the sun. Another net falls on me and I flinch. "Hey," I protest, not very loudly. I clear my throat and try again. "I'm not a corpse! Get this thing off me!"

That gains me some attention. A brief exchange and an eye test convince them to help me up. I scramble upright and move away from the captured corpses. It's a small group of human soldiers, quickly but carefully trussing up the zombies. Most of them are snarling, kicking and trying to bite. Not red hoodie, though, I notice. Well, I already knew it wasn't a typical corpse.

I don't recognize these guys. I know everybody in the city, especially the military ones. I didn't think there were any other human settlements around, although there are always rumors. One by one, the corpses are tied up, muzzled, picked up still wiggling, and slung into the bed of a pickup truck.

What kind of military outfit is this?

Once the cargo is loaded, the guy who seems to be the leader comes over to where I'm standing, bewildered. "You guys aren't from the city," I blurt out as he approaches.

"Hey, you alright? I'm Kurt. And yeah, no, not from the city. Not since Grigio took over."

"Yeah, I think I'm fine," I reply. "I'm Julie." After that comment, I'd rather not tell them my last name. "Julie Gray. Thanks for the rescue."

"Nice to meet you, Julie." He flashes a grin at me. "Very nice. Happy to be of service – did not expect a real person in with this group of deadwood." He gestures towards the truck, and I look in that direction. The corpse in the red hoodie has managed to sit up, partially, and is looking around. He turns his head and sees me, and when he meets my eyes his expression changes. Still staring at me.

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><p>She turns away when she sees me looking, but I don't mind. It looks like she's okay. Talking to one of the soldiers. I can't hear what they're saying, but it doesn't matter. They'll keep her safe. They have to. She'll be better off with them, anyway. I don't know what I was thinking, trying to take her home with me.<p>

Just… it would have been nice to have some company. But who am I kidding. She was terrified of me; that wasn't ever likely to change. The Living do not make friends with the Dead, and there's a very good reason for that. I'll probably never see her again, now that she has a choice in the matter.

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><p>I look away, turning back to Kurt. "So who are you?" I ask.<p>

"Remnants of a military unit," he says, vaguely. "Plus some others. Come on, you can ride in the front of the truck. I'll tell you as we drive."

I'm not certain I believe his entire story. But they are definitely organized and living outside the city walls. And they occasionally go out and capture zombies, because there's a guy in their camp who studies them. Sounds to me like they're all pinning their hopes on him finding a cure. Guess I can't blame them.

I've always hoped for a cure. The way things have been headed, all humans would have ended up either dead or turned, and then all the zombies in the world would starve. The perfect lose-lose scenario.

I realize it's gotten quiet in here, and turn and smile at Kurt. "So, um, can I get a ride back to the city?"

He looks sideways at me. "Yeah, sure. Not anymore today, though. Have to be back to base before dark."

Can't argue with him there. "Right. But, um, tomorrow?"

"Maybe. Have to see if anyone else needs the wheels."

Yeah. That's enthusiastic. "Okay. Thanks."

Their camp is a cluster of buildings surrounded by two rows of high barbed-wire fence. A cluster of buildings and a large cage, near the gate and away from the buildings. Kurt drives the truck in to the camp and parks near the cage. "Stay put," he says, exiting.

Curious, I open my door and step out of the truck, moving around the hood of the vehicle. The soldiers – or whoever they are – are very efficiently pushing the corpses into the… holding pen.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"We keep them here until the doc wants them," Kurt tells me, frowning. "And I told you to stay in the truck."

"Yeah, but I wanted to see," I explain. And I don't take orders from him. "They're untying them?"

"We can't afford to waste the rope," he says. "The cage is sturdy enough. No corpses are going to break out of it. Not that they usually try real hard. And these guys should be quiet enough, looks like they just ate."

"Um, yeah."

"So it'll be days before they start getting hungry again."

The thought makes me a little queasy. "Good to know."

He takes me further into the camp and introduces me to the other occupants. I tell my story and they tell some of their own. They're polite, but not especially friendly. I guess I can't blame them. Having friends just means losing friends, eventually. They give me a room and some clothes to change into.

I thank them and retreat into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I wet a washcloth and start dabbing at the blood on my cheek. It's dried now, and is harder to remove.

Why on earth? Eating me, I could understand, that's what I expected. Painting me… is inexplicable. Dragging me along is unheard of. Not even the corpse experts in the camp could figure that one out.

I can still see the individual finger marks, and it reminds me of the face that had hovered in front of mine. It was disturbingly calm, just studying me. It was pale, and scarred, and spotted with blood… but not hostile.

Give it up, Julie, I tell myself. There's no point analyzing. Corpses are driven by instinct, by hunger. That one had obviously just eaten…

That thought breaks through the numbness that's gripped me for the past few hours, and I can't help it anymore, I start crying. I put the red-streaked cloth in the sink, and stumble over to the single bed, collapsing into tears.

I guess I'd cried myself to sleep. When I wake up, I go looking for dinner. They don't have too much, so I try not to eat a lot. Everyone except me seems to be busy.

My mind is racing. So many bizarre things happened today. I'm trying to make sense of them – there must be some rhyme or reason, if only I could figure it out. I make an excuse and go outside, pulling my jacket tighter around me in the cool night air. I wander around the perimeter of the camp for a bit, nodding to some guards as I pass, looking out into the night. There are lights every fifty feet or so.

I hope Nora's okay. She's out there, somewhere, all alone. I hope she made it home, or at least found a good place to hole up for the night. It must have been terrifying to realize she was the only remaining survivor, and that she'd have to get back to the city without weapons. No one in the group to watch her back. No group.

I was terrified even when I was with a group, although I was more terrified of my escort than of any stray zombies.

That was such a surreal experience. Surrounded by vicious beasts but unharmed. Part of me is starting to be really curious about that.

A low groaning about scares me to death. But then I realize it's just the captured, caged zombies. I've wandered close to their enclosure. I try to calm myself, breathe deeply – then regret it; they smell awful.

They are contained. I do not need to be afraid. The cage is near the fence, but not touching it. It's not directly under a light, so there are shadowy areas, but I can see that there's room for a person to walk behind it, without getting close enough to be grabbed.

Most of the dead are congregated at the front of the cage, facing the light and warmth of the camp. Facing the food. Shuffling around, emitting the occasional groan. Do they have any idea what's in store for them?

No, of course not. How could they? They don't think, they don't feel. They are unreasoning beasts. They killed five people today.

But they didn't kill me. Why did I live through that attack? I feel like there's an important piece of information, hiding just around the corner of my brain, taunting me. Something I need to understand.

That corpse… it saved my life. There's just no way around that. It did. He did.

"Julie."

I look up at the sound of my name, and find myself staring at the corpse in the red hoodie. He's standing at the back corner of the cage, away from the others. Closer to me. If there weren't bars between us, I'd be terrified all over again… but there are bars. So I'm merely scared.

But… I'm curious, too.

_…to be continued…_

_A/N - I have five chapters written right now, and will probably post once a day. I'd love to see a review, if you have a moment. :)_


	2. Could You Understand

That corpse… it saved my life. There's just no way around that. It did. He did.

"Julie."

I look up at the sound of my name, and find myself staring at the corpse in the red hoodie. He's standing at the back corner of the cage, away from the others. Closer to me. If there weren't bars between us, I'd be terrified all over again… but there are bars. So I'm merely scared.

But… I'm curious, too.

"Julie," he says again, looking me directly in the eye, his expression… worried. "You… okay?"

Even though I've heard him speak before, the question amazes me. I walk a bit closer. "Yeah. I'm good. Just couldn't sleep. Trying to understand what happened today. Wish you could tell me."

He looks like he's trying to say something, but then gives up and shrugs instead.

I should keep walking. But he's standing there, just looking at me, and … how the hell can a corpse have puppy-dog eyes? Mysteries upon mysteries. What the hell, I've got nothing better to do. "So, today, in the lab," I start. "What was the deal with the blood on my face? I mean, you had a reason to do that, right?"

He nods – a limited motion, but definitely a nod.

So, open ended questions are a problem, but he can do yes-or-no. "Somehow… you hid me from them. Was the blood to make me look dead?"

He hesitates, but then shakes his head no. Again, a limited range of motion, but it's clear enough. He turns away from me a little, sniffs the air, then turns back towards me and points right at me, sniffing again.

"You can smell us?"

That gets a nod, and he watches me anxiously.

"That's how you track us," I say, slowly, looking away, putting the pieces together. "You pick up on human scents. I mean, there's been speculation, but nobody really knew. Huh."

He nods.

I look back at him. "Thanks."

His eyes widen slightly.

"For not killing me, I mean." It feels weird, thanking a corpse, but he deserves it. "And for saving my life."

He looks down – embarrassed? Then slowly drags his gaze up again until he's looking me in the eye again. So quietly I almost can't catch it, he says "Keep… you safe."

Wow. I just watch him for a moment, chewing my bottom lip, thinking hard. If he wanted to keep me safe from the other corpses, why drag me along with the other corpses? Unless… well, he'd sure seemed fascinated by me.

And, it occurs to me, leaving me in that lab alone (as far as he knew) would have been less safe than schlepping me with, where he could keep an eye on me. Or maybe I'm crediting him with way too much rationality.

"Where were you – wait, hang on a second…" I've spotted a chair a little ways away, so I go to get it and bring it back to near his corner of the cage. I'm tired and I'd rather not stand up for this conversation.

When I get back, he's slowly sitting down on the ground, leaning his shoulder against one of the walls. I smile, pleased that he's anticipated me. "Yeah, let's sit. So." I position the chair, and get comfortable. "Where were you taking me?"

"H..home."

I lean forward. "You have a home?"

He nods, somehow projecting eagerness even though he's barely moving. "Keep… my… things."

My eyebrows raise. "You have things? What kind of things?"

He shrugs awkwardly, one shoulder leaning against the bars. "Pretty… things. Interesting."

"So that's why you took that snow globe?"

He nods, looking sad. "It fell out." He puts his hand into his pocket and I think he found something there… but then he pulls his hand out empty, so I guess not. Whatever.

So not only does this corpse have a home, but he decorates it? Am I sure that I'm awake right now? "Do the others have homes and things, too?"

He shrugs at first, then pauses, and shakes his head no.

"You don't know, but you're guessing not," I try to interpret his gestures.

His expression lightens – he's almost smiling as he nods confirmation. "Don't … sleep. Don't… have... things." He shrugs "No need… for home."

"I guess not." I feel like a sociologist, for a moment, remembering random things from school. "Zombies in the mist," I mutter, amused at myself.

He tilts his head in a question, and I shake my head. "Never mind, just… talking to myself. Because it'd be crazy to be sitting here talking to you, right?"

There's that almost smile again.

Okay, when I think a corpse is cute it's definitely time to head home. I stand up. "Well, maybe you don't sleep, but I should."

He remains on the ground, looking up at me. "Be… safe."

I quirk a smile. "Yeah, I'll try." I start to turn, then wheel back. "What can I call you? Do you even have a name?"

He nods.

"So, what is it?"

He looks away, frowning a little. "Rrrr…"

From across the camp, I hear activity. I look through the cage. "I think they're looking for me." They probably shouldn't find me here.

He looks over his shoulder towards the main camp, then swings his head back to face me again, closing his eyes and trying harder. "Rrrr.."

Yeah, that ain't working. "Tell you what… how about I just call you R? Until you can tell me what the rest of it is?"

He nods, gratefully. Almost smiling.

"Okay, then." I hesitate, feeling weird. Stupid socialization; I can't just leave without saying something polite. I smile. "Good night, R."

"Good… night, Julie."

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><p>I watch her walk away and fade into the night. She smiled. At me. She's not terrified, and she doesn't hate me. That's almost enough to make up for the rest of today.<p>

I never used to have much motivation to keep existing. I knew I wanted more, but had no expectation of ever getting it. Whatever "it" was. I'd just shuffle along, occasionally picking up intensity when I was hungry. Just expected to keep going until eventually I turned into a boney. Or was shot in the head. Some days, I wasn't sure which fate I preferred, but mostly, I just didn't think about it. No need to.

All that changed, earlier today. When I first saw her. When I learned about her from Perry's memories. Julie changed everything.

I never used to worry, either. It's one of the few perks of being dead. If I didn't run into my best friend for days at a time, it didn't bother me. I didn't wonder where he was or if he was still out there. But once Julie was out of my sight, there was a gnawing, nagging need to see her again. To know that she was okay. I can feel it again, now.

The dead do not sleep. We just shuffle around, or sit somewhere, staring at nothing, thinking about nothing, for hours or days at a time. I don't remember ever sleeping, but it always seemed like it'd be nice. To escape my own thoughts for a while.

Tonight, I'm glad I don't sleep. I want to spend the night lost in my thoughts, my memories. I settle back against the corner of the cage, as the camp gradually quiets down around me, and try to remember. The way her hair lay around her face. The way she looked at me earlier when she realized I'd said her name. The way she approached, tonight. So full of questions. So quick to understand what I wasn't able to say.

The way she thanked me. She. Thanked. Me. I'd just confessed to hunting humans, sure it would disgust her, but instead… she thanked me. I am boggled.

She spoke to me like I was one of the Living. Spoke to me instead of to the Living. There are many Living in this camp; I can smell them all. The other scents tempt me to Hunger. Julie… she soothes me. Satisfies me, in some mysterious way. I could smell her coming tonight, before I could see her in the shadowed area behind this cage.

She could have walked away. She could have run away screaming. Neither one of those reactions would have surprised me. But instead, she chose to come closer, to pull up a chair and ask about my life. To connect with me. I savor that thought, as the night slowly slips towards dawn.

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><p>My sleep was troubled by vague nightmares, the details melting away like morning mist. Leaving me feeling groggy and restless. It's a gloomy day, threatening rain. Kurt says they're too busy to take me back home today.<p>

I'm getting the feeling that they really hate the city. And my dad. Maybe they're hoping to talk me out of wanting to go back there, but that's where my friends are. Where my life is.

Everyone in this camp is busy, apparently. They don't want to let me know what their doctor's doing, so I can't be in that area. I try to be friendly with the other women, but they reject my help and don't seem to want to have me around. I'm guessing they think I'm competition.

So I'm wandering again. Bored.

The corpses are quieter today. Maybe they're bored, too. Red hoodie – I mean, R – is in the same spot where I last saw him, just staring at the ground, a vacant expression on his face. The chair's still there, too. I drift towards him.

I don't think I make any noise, but he suddenly stirs and turns to look at me. His expression changes, gains focus. He's almost smiling. "Julie," he says, a little more easily this time.

I lift a hand in a half-wave. "Hi. Do you remember your name yet?"

He shakes his head, looking down.

"That's okay, you have a nickname now," I offer, and he perks up at the reminder.

"R," he says quietly, like he's testing it out. The ends of his mouth twitch upwards. I'm impressed that he remembered.

I walk closer to the cage, looking around for security guards or anyone loitering within view. I can't see anyone. That's good. They don't need to see me here. I don't know what they'd do, but I don't want to find out. I settle into the chair.

R straightens up, looking at me expectantly, and I have to remind myself that he's nowhere near as innocent as he looks.

"So… " Why am I here, anyway? Oh right, I'm bored. And the only person who's willing to talk to me is a corpse. "Where is your home?"

"Airport," he says, two syllables in a row without breathing in between. "I have… a plane."

"Really? Your own plane?" I grin. "Awesome. How'd you get it?"

He shrugs, an expression I'm getting to be really familiar with. To be fair, he does seem to have a pretty limited range of motion, so maybe shrugs are the best he can do. He looks like he's planning to say something, so I wait.

"A lot of us… at the airport. Don't know why."

"Maybe that's where the plague started," I wonder aloud, trying to think back. I'd been too young to pay much attention to the news back then. "Or at least where people got infected."

He nods slowly, looking down. "Trying to fly… away."

"Yeah, maybe." I sigh, looking out through the barbed wire fence. "I wish I could fly away. I want out of this camp. I'll bet I could get out that gate."

His face scrunches up in concern. "Not safe."

"Yeah, I know, but… I want to go home," I say, then feel a pang of guilt. He's probably never going to see his home again, and here I am bitching about a few days' delay.

"You'll be o…kay," he offers, looking up at me. He nods his head back towards the center of the camp. "They'll keep you safe."

"I guess." Now that they know I'm not dead. They could have shot me yesterday; I've seen the bullet holes in most of the corpses, slowly oozing what passes for blood. I look at R, thinking back to that moment. "Did they shoot you, yesterday?"

He nods. "Twice. I think."

Right, I remember his body on top of mine, jerking twice as we lay on the ground. But wait, I'd assumed the reason he fell was because he was shot? It slowly dawns on me that he didn't fall, didn't just collide with me on his way down. "You… were protecting me. Weren't you."

He's silent for a long moment, then nods and quietly says, "Yeah."

I lean forward, resting my elbows on my thighs. "You're amazing."

There's a commotion on the far side of the cage, and we both look in that direction. It's the pick-up truck, filled today with soldiers.

I duck down and sit on the ground, trying to get behind R, not wanting to be seen. Not wanting to have to explain myself.

One of the soldiers hops out of the truck and runs to open the gate. I hope they've got a good lock on that thing. The gate opens, the truck drives through, and then someone shuts the gate behind them. "Wonder where they're going," I say quietly.

R turns back towards me, and looks startled. When I slid down from the chair I accidentally got closer to the cage. He slowly reaches out a hand and hesitantly touches my knee. "Too close," he says. "Not safe."

I just stare at him for a second, then scoot backwards. He's right; if he could touch me, the others could have, too. Them, I'm scared of.

Him, not so much.

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><p><strong>to be continued... <strong>

**Next chapter will be tomorrow. Thanks for reading! Leave a review if you like.**


	3. Beauty of the Beast

_A/N: In case you can't figure out where the heck the titles are coming from, I thought I'd mention that I've decided that since the story is named after a music video, all the chapter titles will be phrases from songs that I've made music vids for. :) Mostly the same song, but there are too many chapters so I've had to go with some other songs, too :)_

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

by ChiefPam

_I just stare at him for a second, then scoot backwards. He's right; if he could touch me, the others could have, too. Them, I'm scared of._

_Him, not so much._

I look at him again. He's looking at me, seeming content with the view. He's been kind to me. Even when I didn't understand it, when I was terrified of him, he was protecting me. Saving me.

Get a grip, Julie. He had fresh blood on him. He killed *somebody* yesterday. Yeah, I'm glad it wasn't me, but don't be making him out to be some kind of hero. Tomorrow he might get hungry again, and then I'd be… sushi.

The others are still clustered at the other end of the cage. Two of them are still shuffling, but the other three are sitting down, facing the camp. Wait, didn't there used to be more of them? The mad doctor must have wanted a new research subject.

It could have been R. That's an unexpectedly troubling thought.

I stand back up. "I want to see that gate," I say, not quite looking at R, then walk around the cage – at a safe distance. The gate and the fence both seem sturdy, but it's not so much locked as latched. That strikes me as dangerous. Although apparently that's good enough when your greatest enemy lacks any intelligence.

I turn slightly, looking back at the cage. R is standing, watching me from the nearest point he can get to. I wonder if I should warn them that they might be underestimating zombies. Maybe… if I can do it without mentioning R. I don't want them to know I've been chatting with their research subjects.

And I don't want R to be of any special interest to them.

I look around the camp. With the soldiers gone and everyone else indoors, it's very quiet and still. Except now the corpses are getting more animated, clustering around R, groaning… "They can smell me now, can't they." I pitch my voice to carry, not wanting to get much closer to the crowd hungering after my flesh. It creeps me out.

R pushes them back. "Yeah," he replies.

"They want to eat me," I say, trying to talk some sense into myself. "You would, too, if you were hungry."

He shakes his head vehemently, looking almost angry. "No. Keep you safe."

Okay, that's unexpected. I tilt my head. "Really? Even if you were hungry?"

He stares at me intently. "Never, Julie. Never hurt you."

I think I believe him.

The cage door catches my attention – it's latched, too, much the same way as the gate is. That's kind of scary. I am definitely not mentioning that to R; he might be able to figure it out, although it would be hard to reach from the inside. "Well, they would. I should maybe go away for a while."

He looks sad and almost apologetic. "Come back later?"

I can't decide if I want to do that, or not. "Maybe," I say, starting to move towards the building I slept in.

"Be safe," he says, staring at me, like he's trying to memorize me.

"I'll try. See you later, R." I offer a small smile before turning and walking away.

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><p>She's walking away, and I miss her already. I watch her until she disappears into a building, then retreat to stand in the back corner of the cage. Near her chair. Near where she was, briefly, close enough to touch.<p>

She allowed me to touch her. For an-all-too-short moment, anyway. I wonder if that will ever happen again. Doesn't seem likely. Then again, I didn't think I'd ever even see her again. I never would have expected her to come visiting.

I hope she believed me. Even if I were hungry, even if I'd die all the way, I'd never ever hurt her.

Motion. I look up to see my friend. He's staring at me, and grunts inquisitively. I shrug, then decide to share. "Julie."

He frowns, and struggles to talk. After a few moments where he gathers his breath, he says, "Living."

Yes. And she needs to stay that way. "Not eat," I tell him firmly.

He tilts his head, still frowning, staring at me. I stare back at him. I'm not planning to lose this argument. After a few moments, he looks away, and I know I've won. Not that it makes much difference, really. We're stuck in here and Julie is safe out there. But I'm glad to have him on my side.

"You… okay?" he asks.

I shrug, grunting noncommittally.

He sighs sympathetically.

I think this is the longest conversation we've ever had.

* * *

><p>Hours later, the truck returns, rolling slowly past our cage. Julie had looked at the gate earlier, so I look at it too. It's shut, but not exactly locked. I might be able to get it open, if I could get to it. Huh.<p>

One of the older men in the camp comes out to meet the truck. "What's the news?"

The truck stops, and a soldier gets out of the driver's side. It's one that Julie had talked to yesterday. I had been almost jealous at the time. But now she talks to me, too.

He salutes the older man. "Lots of activity over towards the city. Grigio's sent out a bunch of patrols. We had to detour around, but we caught a skeleton. It's in the back of the truck."

Grigio… that name sounds familiar. Something from Perry's memories… it's connected to Julie, I think.

"The doc will like getting to cut up a skeleton." The older man frowns slightly. "What's all the fuss about?"

The soldier smiles. "Get this – Grigio's daughter was out on a salvage run yesterday, and got captured by corpses. We heard them talking. They're trying to find her."

"What the…" the older man gestures back towards the camp. "Her?"

"Gotta be." His smile is not nice at all. "Looks like we've finally got some leverage."

Holy shit. That man, the dad that gave Perry such a hard time, was the leader of the city? Of their military, anyway. Julie's dad. And what do they mean by leverage?

The older man smiles back slowly. Also not nice. "That is very interesting, Kurt. Thank you. Bring the skeleton to the doc's lab, then report to the mess hall, we need to discuss strategy."

"They'd probably trade several trucks for her," Kurt suggests.

"They'd trade a lot more than that," the older man says. "If we decide to trade. Grigio's gonna wish she was still with corpses by the time we're through."

I stand straighter, alarm zinging through me. They were supposed to keep her safe. I'd only worried about my kind harming her. Never occurred to me that the Living would be a threat.

I have to tell her. And I have no idea when or if she's planning to come back.

* * *

><p>I spend the day by myself, mostly. Kurt comes back after lunch time, but he won't say where he's been, and seems a little on edge, so I give up on talking to him. I try napping, but it doesn't really work.<p>

I sit in my little room, and consider going back to talk to R. It's weird, but I kind of enjoyed talking to him. We didn't even say much – and I said more than he did – but he was a good listener. Maybe that's what I miss. Having someone pay attention to what I say. It was nice, and part of me wants to go do it again.

I probably shouldn't, though. Tomorrow, maybe, they'll drive me home, and he'll stay here, and… that's not going to end well for him. I don't think there's much I can do about that.

Although… I suppose, you know, theoretically, I could open that cage, and open the gate, and let them all out… but those other corpses… I don't want to get within touching distance of. Maybe I could maneuver it so only R got out before we closed the door again? It'd have to be in the middle of the night, though, and the camp does post sentries.

If they catch me releasing a corpse, they will most certainly not be understanding about it.

Why am I even worrying about his fate? He's a corpse. No happily ever afters for him, regardless of what I do.

It's just… he did save my life. And then he took two bullets for me. And after talking to him, he's more of a person than a thing. A person with a home, and things to return to. Can I really just abandon him?

I have to. Okay, stop being crazy, Julie. No more talking to him. I won't even go near the cage anymore. There's no point. I need to forget about him.

An alarm blares, startling me. I run outdoors and look around, trying to figure out what's happening. People are scurrying around, and one of them yells at me to get back inside, but screw that. I want to know what's going on. There seems to be a commotion by the gates. Near the corpse pen.

Was there an incident there? I feel a flash of worry for R, but try to suppress it. I circle one of the buildings and approach the gate from behind the pen. The corpses are all standing, but not fighting, so it's not that.

The gate guards are shouting, and I hear some shots being fired. Then I hear something else, something that makes my hair stand on end. Screeching. Oh my god. Skeletons. As creepy as corpses and twice as scary. They're rushing the gate and the fence.

My first instinct is to run away and hide… but my heart sinks as I realize that hiding won't be good enough. If they get into the camp, they'll be able to sniff me out.

"Julie!"

I turn to see R standing at the bars, watching me anxiously. "Julie, bonies."

I guess he means the skeletons. There are a lot of them. I see some of them go down, but they keep coming, and the fence isn't strong enough to stop them. Shit. I don't want to die.

I look at R again, and a wild idea forms. He hid me once. I move sideways, approaching the cage door. Which is also closer to the battle. R is moving, too, keeping up with me. He's flinching when he hears a skeleton scream – well, I am, too.

With a crash, part of the fence begins to collapse, on the far side of the gate from me. The battle shifts a little further away, and I watch breathlessly, splitting my attention between the fighting and the cage door. I could open that door, I'm pretty sure. It opens outwards. I could stand behind it in case they rush me. The corpses are clustered on the far side of the cage, though, and only R seems aware of me.

The gunfire slows as the screeches increase, and I gotta make a choice. Possible death versus certain death. I know which is my better option, but I still have trouble convincing my legs to move. One step at a time, I force myself closer to the zombies I've spent the last five years fearing. I reach the cage door and start pulling on the latch with trembling fingers.

"Come on, Julie," R says. "Please. Keep you safe."

Gulping, I pull the latch and open the door. I dart inside and R grabs hold of me, wrapping his arms around me, saying my name. I bury my face in his chest, no longer caring what he smells like, closing my eyes like a child trying to block out the scary noises.

There are a lot of scary noises. I have to look. I turn my head to see an older-looking bald guy in a sport coat. He's closed the cage door and is messing with it. "What is he doing?"

"Trying to lock it," R says, his chest rumbling against my cheek. "He's my friend."

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading! Thanks especially to Brigid, CometMoon &amp; Amaris Magic, for reviewing. You guys rock. Hope you enjoyed this one. Next chapter tomorrow! Oh, and please somebody look at my YouTube channel :p It's under "Pam Jernigan" (since this anonymous-on-the-Internet concept seems to have escaped me). I've got a bunch of RJulie vids.


	4. Stay With Me A Little Longer

A/N: Chapter titles are phrases from songs that I've made Warm Bodies music vids for. Thanks again to Brigid & Amaris Magic for reviewing. If you guys aren't reading Amaris Magic's Warm Bodies Oneshots, you should be, they're great.

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

by ChiefPam

I stand there holding Julie, trying to be in the exact center of the cage so that nothing could reach in and harm her. I just hope the other corpses don't get any ideas, but I think they're too scared of the bonies to pay any attention right now.

The bonies are killing the soldiers, but not stopping to eat them. I wonder if this is a reaction to the skeleton being captured earlier. The bonies sometimes seem like they can communicate. Like they're connected, maybe even interchangeable. They sure all look alike.

The soldiers are all down now. The bonies are moving past them, fanning out, like they're searching the camp. One of them comes near the cage, and I turn away, trying to hide Julie. It comes right up and rattles the bars, screeching at me. I just close my eyes and hold Julie tighter. Her arms are around my waist, feeling so warm.

After a moment, it rattles the bars again, then silence.

"It's… gone," my friend reports.

I peek, and he's right. I loosen my hold on Julie, preparing to let her go, but she doesn't back up. She looks around, but then lays her head on my chest again, shaking slightly. "Oh, my god," she says quietly.

My friend looks at her. "Hi."

She takes a deep breath. "Hi."

Daringly, I rub her back. "It's okay. He's … a friend."

"Friend," she repeats quietly, not budging. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

There's movement at the far end of the cage and I turn my head to look. The others are staring at Julie and me, but not moving towards us, just kind of swaying in place.

"Not eat," my friend tells her. "R said."

"Okay. Good." I feel her take a deep breath, then she shifts a little bit away from me. Her head turns, and she squeaks as she sees the others. She grabs onto me again. "R…?"

I hold her close, staring at the others. They've seen her before, and they've seen her talking to me. And just this morning they were wanting to eat her. But now, they're just watching, fascinated. I wonder if I looked like that the other day in the lab, when I first saw her. "Not eat," I tell them.

They make sounds of agreement, and some even step back a little. For a long moment, nothing else happens.

Julie takes another deep breath, removes her arms from around me and steps back. I let her, my arms dropping back to my sides. They feel empty and useless. I make sure I'm between her and the others, though.

By the sounds of it, there's still fight left in the camp. "You think they made it to a building?" Julie asks, looking in that direction.

"Might have." I'm not feeling especially charitable, though, not after that conversation earlier.

She looks up at me, hesitantly. "Is there anything we can do…?"

I shrug, then add. "Doubt it. Don't think… we should try."

She looks down. "Well, yeah, after what they did to you, I guess…"

I touch her arm and shake my head. "It's not that," I say, then gather my breath. This is going to take a lot of syllables. "I heard them. They knew who… you were. Planned to use you. Against your dad."

Her eyes widen.

One more deep breath. "Need to get you out of here."

She pulls herself together and her expression becomes serious. "We need to get you out of here, too. God, I hate leaving this cage when there are skeletons out there, but this is probably our best chance, while they're all busy."

"Wait," I say, putting my hand into my pocket and feeling the remnants of sticky wetness. I dig my fingers into it, then pull my hand out again.

She glances down and grimaces when she sees the blood, but holds still while I spread it on her face. I lean down and sniff, then straighten back up. "Safe," I tell her.

"Thank you," she says, sincerely. She moves towards the cage door, then stops. She reaches back and grabs my hand. I look down at our joined hands, then up at her. Connection. Literally. I like it.

"Don't run," I warn Julie, as she's opening the cage door. "Just walk. Be dead."

"Right, I can do that," she mutters. The cage door swings open, and she looks at me nervously. "Just like last time… only you probably shouldn't stare at me so much."

"O-okay," I say, a little embarrassed. It hadn't even occurred to me that she'd noticed. Don't be creepy, I tell myself. Just a normal zombie out for an aimless shuffle. "Sorry."

She gives me a little smile. And I melt. She's amazing.

The two of us start slowly towards the open gate.

* * *

><p>Walking like a corpse, now that I'm slightly less terrified of corpses, is kinda fun. I affect an awkward little limp, staring ahead, not looking around. I'd kind of like to keep holding hands, but that's un-zombie-like behavior. Nothing to see here. Just a normal zombie out for an aimless shuffle, that's me.<p>

The other corpses are shuffling after us. Despite what I said to R, I can't help glancing around from time to time, just to know what's going on. I get the feeling they're following me in particular, but they're keeping their distance. R's face is expressionless, mostly, but then he's busy being dead.

I have no idea where we are, or how to get home, but I plan to worry about that later. For the moment, I try to clear my mind. It's not working. Keeping to a slow pace while hearing skeletons screech behind me is almost impossible, but I know it's my best chance. Our best chance. God, we move slow. This could take awhile.

I sneak a peek sideways at R. He's amazing. I remember when I first saw him. When he first spoke to me. I was so scared I could barely walk, but that was two days ago. Now I want to talk to him. I suppose it would be out of character for a corpse to be chatty, so I'll just have to wait.

He's been pretty chatty for a corpse. Even his friend managed to string a few words together. It freaked me out a little, when he said hi. Corpses aren't supposed to be able to talk; they're not supposed to be able to think.

And then that reminds me of the moments before that, when I was holding onto R for dear life. Once the danger passed, I could tell he expected me to back off right away, and he didn't try to keep me close. Being that close to him should have been creepy; I'd expected to be very uncomfortable. Instead I felt the most illogical feeling of… safety. Peace. Protection.

Even when I realized the other corpses were still there, watching me. Well, watching us. Staring like we were an entirely new and totally unexpected thing. Guess I can't argue with them there. Who would ever have expected one of the living to cuddle up to a corpse? Let alone have him return the embrace.

It felt good to be that close to him. Yeah, I know that's crazy, but the whole world is crazy. Normally I'm not the type of girl to hang on a guy; give me a gun and get out of my way. He isn't a normal guy, though, and I'm not even counting the not-having-a-pulse factor.

I have to admit, it's endearing that he's so concerned about me. He's really sweet about it, too. It's… flattering, to have someone so obviously put me first. I flash back to the lab again, but this time before the attack. I'd wanted to get out of there, but Perry hadn't listened. He'd called me paranoid. I know it's unfair but I can't help thinking that R would have been less dismissive. More protective.

I turn slightly, looking behind us. I can still see the gates. The screeches are quieter and less frequent. I don't know if that's good news or bad. Even if the people there weren't very friendly, I still hoped they'd managed to barricade themselves in and not get killed.

* * *

><p>As I'm walking, it's taking a conscious effort not to stare at Julie. I settle for breathing deeply. This close, and being familiar with it, I can still detect her unique scent. It's the normal fizzy Living scent, but somehow sweeter than any other Living I ever smelled. It excites and soothes me, all at once.<p>

Having her in my arms was… indescribable. I mean, I'd had my arms around her yesterday, when they were shooting at us, but this was different. This time, she came to me willingly. On purpose.

She was so soft, and warm, and it's incredible that she trusted me at all, let alone enough to be that near, that vulnerable. She didn't even back up right away. I mean, she was worried about my friend, and the others, but that just emphasized her trust in me. The way she lay her cheek against my shoulder… not to mention the rest of her front. I may be dead, but I'm not blind; she's beautiful. With some very nice curves, hiding under her loose clothing.

And at least for a few moments there, she was mine.

The important thing is to keep her safe. But… if that should happen to include holding her close again, that would be… so much more than okay.

* * *

><p>"So where are we going?" I eventually get up the nerve to ask. "Besides away from bonies."<p>

R slews his head towards me, a questioning look on his face. "Air…port?"

"Um. Well, I would like to see your airplane," I admit, "But I really have to go home. I just don't know how to get there from here." I know all the back alleys in the city, but in the deserted suburbs I'm pretty lost. "Do you?"

He's quiet for a moment. Thinking?

"Yeah," he answers.

"How long would it take to get there?"

"Half a day?"

Imprecise, but that's understandable. Not like he has a watch. His concept of time is probably pretty broad. I look up at the sky. "We won't make it before dark, will we?"

"Don't think so. Airport is closer."

I really am tempted. "Yeah, but… I'll bet there are a lot of, um, your friends there."

He turns towards me. "I would keep you safe."

"I know you would do your best, R. Are there bonies there, too?"

He stops walking for a second, looking down, then jolts back into movement. "Yeah. We can't go there."

"I would like to avoid them, yeah."

He steers me to the side of the road and then stops. His friend catches up with us and looks at R, grunting a question.

"Take Julie to the city," R explains. "You guys go home."

His friend looks at me, and I manage a tight smile. The other corpses are catching up now, too, and slowing to a stop in front of us. R's friend nods slowly. "O…kay. Be careful."

R returns the nod. "You, too."

Without another word or even a grunt, R's friend turns away and motions for the rest of the group to follow him. After a moment of confused shuffling, the other corpses fall into line, and start back towards their home. None of them glance back.

I breathe a little easier as they get further away.

"This way," R says, and we walk in the other direction.

_to be continued..._

Thanks for reading! Leave a review if you like...


	5. Take Your Time, You'll Be Fine

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

**by ChiefPam**

"It's getting darker," I observe maybe an hour later. As weird as it was to walk with the whole zombie pack, it's kind of awkward just with R, too. I don't know what to say. Apparently he doesn't, either.

I've kind of been distracted by the sky. In the city, you can't see that much of it, but out here… you can see for miles. No huge wall hiding the horizon. The sun is setting, and the sky is *gorgeous*.

Still, we're outside the wall, which means, it's unsafe. "We're going to need to find a place to hole up for the night." We're still in the suburbs, walking through what were probably pretty nice neighborhoods once. I gesture towards one side of the street. "We have a lot of options. What sort of house would you like?"

He considers that. "One with stairs."

"Okay, why stairs?"

"Better… defense. Safer."

Safe. That's been his focus for two days, and it's all directed at me. It's hard not to appreciate that kind of dedication.

"Depends on the stairs," I say dryly. "The ones at my house are pretty big. No door at the top, either. Still, it'd be something. Some places have much more closed-in stairs. Alright, we're looking for a two-story. I'd like a nice front porch. I always liked sitting out on the balcony at my place. Just a little bit of freedom. No duties, no people. Just me. I mean, I have friends, I like being with people, but sometimes, it's nice to have a quiet place to think." I glance sideways. "I'll bet it would get real old, though, if I could never go back inside."

He nods, but I'm not certain he knows what I'm talking about. His whole … existence … is by himself. The corpses in the pen didn't really interact. Even trapped with others, he was by himself. Must be lonely.

I need to get back to the subject. "Um, yeah, real estate. I need something with a big kitchen; I like to cook when I get the chance."

"Big living… room, too. For parties."

I smile. "Yeah, we'd have a lot of parties. And then be happy together once they all went home."

He turns a little to look at me, and I realize what I just said. I think I might be blushing. "I mean, that's what I'd do, if I was… living with someone, or something." Get a grip, Julie, I tell myself. The key word in that sentence is 'living'. With, you know, someone who's alive.

"So, open floor plan, for entertaining." Television doesn't work anymore, but we do have DVDs, and I went through a period where I watched what they called "home improvement" shows. It eventually got to me, though, how much they had that I never would, so I stopped. But I guess I retained some of the vocab. "That's good. I'd like a house with a stone exterior, someday, but apparently this neighborhood went exclusively with stick-built and siding." I'm getting into the spirit of this. "Any preference on color?"

"Blue," he says immediately, surprising me.

"Really? Why?"

He's quiet, and I'm not sure he's going to answer, but then he does. "Color of your eyes," he says softly.

Okay, wow. That would have sounded incredibly cheesy, coming from anyone else. I keep walking, and he does too. After a few more steps, I manage to say, "Thanks. That's nice."

He just shrugs. Okay, then. Looking up and down the street, the houses all seem to be pretty similar, so I pick one at random. The fact that it's blue is totally a coincidence. The door is locked, but R kicks it open, which makes me laugh a little. I manage to close it behind us – no point making it obvious that we're in here.

R is checking the place out, on alert for threats, but then he relaxes. "Safe," he reports.

"Great. Let's see what they have for lights." Outside, it's getting dusky. In here, it's positively dim. Straining my eyes, I find an old lantern and get that lit. They had a bunch of candles, too, which doesn't really surprise me. The power grid got pretty unreliable; it was one of the reasons everyone huddled up in the city.

Almost everyone. I've spent the last two days with the two groups that didn't.

This was a nice house, once. Looking a little bit shabby these days, with a thin layer of dust. They've got a tall bookshelf and I position the lantern so I can see the spines on the books. "Wow. Look at all these." Books were not generally a priority when people are running for their lives, so we didn't have that many at home.

R comes over and looks, too, but not quite as intently. "Can you read?" I ask.

He hesitates and shakes his head. "Forgot."

"You've forgotten a lot, I guess. That sucks."

He shrugs. I guess he's had time to get used to the idea.

"So, what do you know about yourself, R?"

He looks away, considering that, and I divide my attention between the books and his face. Mostly I watch his face, to be honest. It's kind of fascinating to read his expressions; he can do so much with very little range of motion. I'm starting to think he won't answer, but then he does, looking at me seriously.

"My posture… is terrible."

I can't help it, I laugh out loud.

His entire face lightens, and he manages a smile – maybe even a smug one.

"You're right," I agree, still grinning. "It is. But your sense of humor isn't."

* * *

><p>Holding her in my arms was amazing. Hearing her laugh at my joke was almost better. I think I have a new goal in life – to hold her again and make her laugh at the same time. She's always captivating, but when she's laughing… it's just so much better.<p>

We spend the next hour or so exploring. We found food for Julie, and she ate while I poked around in some of the other rooms. Her food smells terrible, but I'm uncomfortably aware that I have no room to talk, so instead I focused on finding pretty things.

I don't know when I'll make it back to my plane, though, so I don't take anything. Except one little candle in the shape of a clown, which I slip into my pocket.

After she's done eating, Julie meets me in the living room. "There you are. I thought we could play some cards."

I look at the little rectangles she's holding doubtfully. "Don't know how."

"That's okay," she says cheerfully, clearly unsurprised by my ignorance. I'm grateful for her tolerance but frustrated at the need for it. "You can match shapes, right? You're smart, R, you've just … lost a bunch of symbols. And we can manage without them."

So she teaches me something called Go Fish. The goal is to match four little rectangles with the same shapes on them (different colors, though). And she's right, I can match shapes. It takes a little while to get the hang of it, but it ends up being… almost fun. The closest I've had to fun in a very long time.

Bonus – while we play, we talk. Sitting on the floor, looking at the cards, it's easy to ask her things. She answers things I don't even ask.

"It wasn't so bad when I was in high school," she says as she holds up a card for me to see the symbol. "But these last two years have been getting really grim."

I scan my hand, finding one match. I pull it out, carefully not displaying any of the others, and hand it to her. She smiles and holds up another card, but I don't have any of those. "Go… fish," I say, amused at the phrasing. She assures me it makes sense but her explanation was confusing. Still, I know what it means as part of the game.

I find I like knowing how to play a card game. I look at my hand, deciding what card to try to match. "Why?"

She sighs, shifting position on the floor. "Well, people keep getting killed, for one thing. The whole world's on its way out. I have a job that I don't really like, but which needs to be done, so I do it. There are lots of things I don't like, but we don't have any choices anymore, not the way we once did. They told me that I could be anything I wanted, but… it's not true."

"You want… more?" I ask. This is sounding familiar to me. Maybe her life hasn't been much better than my death. It's a weird thought.

"I want to be able to see the sky, to be able to go for a drive, to take a weekend off to play cards and eat breakfast in bed, and, I don't know, go out somewhere and do something. The world used to be so large, but it's a lot more confined now. You know?"

"Yeah. Feel… trapped."

"Exactly! I mean, that's just the way the world is now, but it ought to be better." She sighs. "Are you going to ask for a card, or what?"

I pick a card almost at random and show it to her. She grumbles and hands me two of the same kind. I think that makes a set – one card for each one of my fingers – so I put them down on the floor between us.

She laughs. "See? I told you you could do this."

After that, she starts naming the symbols as she shows them to me, and by the end of the game I'm remembering some of them. She wins, but not by much, and I don't mind, anyway. I'm just enjoying spending time with her.

* * *

><p>I pick up the cards and put them on the coffee table. "Maybe we can try that again tomorrow, R, but right now I have got to get some sleep. Did you check out the upstairs?"<p>

He nods, so I know it's safe. I grab the lantern and head up the stairs to scope out the bedrooms. The evening's been surprisingly fun, but it's now totally dark outside and I am tired. Going out for a long shuffle will do that to you.

The master bedroom has a bed that's in pretty decent shape. It looks awfully inviting right now, too.

So… what is R going to be doing tonight? He doesn't sleep, I've learned that much. The idea of sleeping while he's awake is a little… weird. I mean, it would be with anyone, but even more so with… well, a corpse. Being asleep means being helpless, and I'm just not quite comfortable with that.

Rationally, I know there's no reason to fear. He's never done a single thing to harm me. He's saved my life multiple times. The guy just spent forty five minutes playing a silly card game with me. He's safe. There's absolutely no reason that should change just because I have my eyes closed. It's just… awkward.

The bedroom door has a lock. He won't mind if I lock him out. He's probably expecting it. But that doesn't feel right, either. With the door closed it'll be awfully dark in here. And lonely.

Come to think of it, the house all by itself has a creepy factor. It's too quiet, and, well, the people who lived here before very likely aren't alive anymore.

I head back down the stairs. "R?"

He's moved up to the sofa and is staring at a magazine. He looks up when I say his name. "Yeah?"

"I'm exhausted. The bed actually isn't too rotten, so… I'm going to get some sleep. Good night." I turn to head back upstairs but don't get more than a step before reversing course again. "You know, I was thinking… you could…" I'm not sure what I'm saying or how to say it, but the words keep coming anyway. "You could sleep … or whatever … upstairs. In there, I mean. If you wanted to."

He's just staring at me, and I feel terribly awkward. "It's just… these houses creep me out. And I think…" I swallow, and decide to continue. "I'd feel safer, you know, if you were up there, too. Somewhere close. Ish."

He's not moving, eyes wide in his solemn face.

"Okay. Well, good night." I scurry up the stairs, feeling foolish. What was that all about, Julie? Well, I'm not used to inviting guys to sleep with me in any sort of capacity. I'm not used to wanting protection, either, but these aren't normal circumstances and he's not a normal guy.

* * *

><p>Is she asking me to sleep with her?<p>

I don't sleep. And I couldn't sleep *with* someone even if I wanted to, not in the intimate sense of the phrase. That part of me… just doesn't work. The thought of sex – with someone as beautiful and enthralling as Julie – ought to make me wish it did, but it doesn't. There's just nothing there.

But the thought that she trusts me, that she wants me near… that does things to me. Like rob me of speech and keep me from moving when what I want most is to follow her upstairs. I feel a strange thudding inside my chest, and it jolts me into motion. I put down the magazine and go after her.

At the top of the stairs I pause, trying to figure out where she went. "Julie?"

She pops out of a room, a big smile on her face. "R! I thought maybe you…"

I shake my head, denying whatever it is she was planning to say. "Just slow. Dead, remember?"

That makes her laugh, just a bit. "I almost forgot," she says.

I don't believe her, but I wish I could.

"Anyway, I'm crashing in here," she says, and reaches out to grab my hand and drag me into the bedroom. "There's lots of room. Um, how do you want to do this? I mean, I know you don't actually sleep…"

I look around the room. There's a bed and a few other pieces of furniture. No chairs, though. Well, I'm not here to be comfortable, I'm here to keep her safe. "I'll keep watch," I say, closing the door and sitting down with my back to it. Nothing's coming through there, not if I can help it.

She smiles, a bit nervously, I think. "Okay, that works." She crawls into the bed and gets herself comfortable under the covers. I can barely see her across the room, but I can tell when she adjusts her position to look at me. "R? Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." Ask me anything.

"My boyfriend… he died back there." She pauses, and guilt hits me hard. "Will he come back… as one of you?"

I shake my head, not sure I can speak.

"That's good, I guess," she says quietly. "Something happened to him. Well, a lot of things happened to him."

I really don't think I want to hear this. She's reminding me of what I'd seen in Perry's memories.

"There just came a point… where he just couldn't absorb… any more."

She's quiet for a while, and I'm starting to wonder if she's fallen asleep. I try to remember if I've ever seen anyone sleep. Doesn't seem likely, although my memories are patchy at best.

"I started losing him a long time ago," she says in the darkness, barely audible. "Anyway. Good night, R."

I try to reply, but it's difficult. Eventually, I manage a "Night, Julie."

No reply. I settle back against the door, listening for threats, thinking back to all my interactions with her today. Storing up good memories for when she's gone. It's going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>to be continued...<p> 


	6. I Would Do It All For You

A/N - hope you enjoyed yesterday's little domestic interlude. :) Longer chapter today...

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

by ChiefPam

Waking up is hard, when I'm so comfortable. The room is quiet. I open my eyes briefly, see that R is still there, and relax. I'm safe. And I know I need to get back home today, but not yet, right? I've been missing a few days, another few hours won't make a difference. I stretch, slowly, enjoying the lack of any pressing obligations.

When I wake again, it's a little louder, and my brain slowly figures out that the extra noise is rain. My eyes open, and I have to roll over to see the window. "Crap," I mutter.

"Julie?" R says quietly.

"Hi," I say, laying back down and closing my eyes. "It's raining. A lot."

He grunts in agreement.

"And I don't know about you – maybe you don't care – but I don't want to walk home in the rain."

"Could stay here," he says, hopefully.

I prop myself up on my elbows and look at him. "You know what? That's a very good idea. Just, you know, until the rain stops. Because after these past few days I could really use some down time."

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of spending the whole day here. Because, really, there's no hurry.

After breakfast, we poke around some more and discover a CD player and a large library of CDs. Neither one of us are too familiar with the player controls, but R finds some albums he recognizes – by the cover art, I guess – and we manage to play them. He tells me a little bit about his record player and his music collection. Now that, I really wish I could see.

We play some more Go Fish, too, then work up to slightly more complicated games.

And we talk. Okay, mostly it's me talking, but he's a great listener. Even has some funny comments now and then. The rain tapers off sometime after lunch, but by then I'm enjoying myself too much to want to slog off to the city. Although we do wander to a few other houses looking for food and things to do. One of the places has a Polaroid camera. I snap a picture of R and grin at his shocked expression.

Nora is never going to believe this, but this is the best day I've had in a long time. Okay, so my companion is techncially dead, but he's still good company. I can do whatever I want to, and no one's trying to kill me. I know I can't stay like this forever – I do have responsibilities, and I'm not planning to ditch them. I just… need a day off.

Following another beautiful sunset, we retreat into the house for supper. "This was a great day," I announce, rummaging around in the pantry. "But tomorrow we have to go." I sigh. "They need me."

R helps me light candles and then I open a can and use the stove to heat up some soup. R is watching with interest as I ladle it into a bowl and carry it to the dining room table.

Last night, R left the room while I ate. Tonight, he sits at the table with me. It's nice. I glance up at him and squirm a little. "Um… do you want some?" I offer, before I can think about it.

He shakes his head. "No. Thanks."

I grin wryly. "Not your normal diet, huh?"

"Not any…more," he agrees, looking down at the table.

Is it just me, or does that make him sad? I take a few more bites. I'd never thought very much about zombie eating habits, other than trying to keep myself from becoming a main course. "Do you have to eat people?"

A pause. "Yeah."

"Or you'll die?"

A long pause. "Yeah."

I look at him, releasing my spoon and curling my hand under my chin. "But you didn't eat me. You rescued me. Like, a bunch."

He shrugs.

"Why me?"

A pause. He glances up at me, then down towards the table again. Another shrug.

"Okay, is that because you don't know, or you can't explain it?"

"Y…yes."

I have to smile. "You've been getting better with talking. But I guess some things are hard to figure out, let alone talk about."

He looks up again, meeting my eyes. "Why me?"

I blink. "What?"

"Why did you … talk to me? Trust me?"

It's my turn to shrug. "Yeah, I don't know. I was curious, I guess. I mean, you'd already rescued me. You were locked up so I didn't feel so scared." I smile at him. "You were worried about me, how could I be scared of you?" And I thought he was cute, if I'm perfectly honest with myself. Cute in an undead kind of way, yeah, but still. Now that I know him, he's gone from cute nearly all the way to adorable.

He smiles back, just a little. Such limited facial expressions he has to work with.

"It must be hard, being stuck in there," I muse, abandoning my soup altogether in favor of watching him. "You know, I can see you trying. Trying to be better, to be more than you are. Trying to communicate. To connect." I reach out my hand to touch his. "You're a good person, R."

He looks down, and moves his hand away.

I flush, and pull mine back. "I'm sorry," I mutter. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, or anything."

"I'm not," he says quietly.

"Not embarrassed?"

He slowly shakes his head. "Not a good person."

"Yes, you are. I've seen it. You've saved me, over and over. You always put me first."

"Julie," he says, an almost-pleading tone in his voice, and I wait. "It… it was me."

I frown. "What was you?"

"I'm sorry," he says, pulling something out of his pocket and placing it on the table in front of me. As he removes his hand, I see that it's a watch.

That's Perry's watch. The one he always wore, that his dad gave him. I get a cold chill, understanding what R's trying to say.

I reach out to touch it, and pick it up. Staring at it. "I mean, I guess I kind of knew that." I knew he'd killed someone, why had I so blithely overlooked that?

"You did?"

"I guess, I hoped… that you didn't." This sudden reminder of his bloody past is a bit much for me right now. Unsteadily, I get to my feet and leave the kitchen, walking to the darker end of the living room.

"Julie… I'm so, so sorry…"

I know he's sincere, I can hear it. He sounds like his heart is breaking. But all I can manage right now is to keep breathing steadily. I don't need to cry. Or scream. "Just… give me a minute," I say through clenched teeth.

He's quiet as I try to process the emotions surging through me. People die all the time in my world, yeah, but it's still not easy to face. Things with Perry haven't been so great, this last year or so, but I'd been with him for a long time.

And… this is about more than Perry's death. That, I can deal with. Getting chummy with the guy that killed him… I'm not so sure I can handle.

I turn to look at R. He's still sitting at the kitchen table, head down, shoulders hunched. Oh, God, what am I going to say? What is there to say, really?

"I could see…" R says quietly. So quietly I almost can't hear him. I step a little bit closer. "See his memories. Of you."

"So that's how you knew my name," I whisper. "Wait, no, that doesn't make sense at all. How on earth…?"

He shrugs, still not looking at me. "Don't know. You said… you missed airplanes."

I catch my breath as I remember that conversation. Shit. He really did see Perry's memories. Somehow. That almost freaks me out more than the part about killing him.

"Wanted to… share mine," he continues, quietly. "Even if... it doesn't fly."

I can only stare at him. So lost in my whirling thoughts that I don't even hear the noise outside until he reacts to it.

Vehicles, out in the street. Sounding very loud in the so-quiet night.

I scramble towards the front window, kneel on the couch, and peek out behind the curtain. Two houses down, I see men marching slowly, with goggles and hand-held sensors. Behind them, there's a jeep and a guy with a floodlight, illuminating the buildings they pass.

I feel more than hear R come up behind me, looking over my shoulder.

As the convoy comes closer, I realize there's a truck behind the jeep… and I recognize that truck. Shit. "That's the guys from the camp! What are they doing here?"

R puts a hand on my shoulder and draws me back from the window, pulling me down to sit on the floor. "We have to put out the lantern," I hiss at him, but he's already rising up to cross to the kitchen and extinguish the tell-tale light.

I can barely see him on his way back, and he looms large as I sit on the floor. Yeah, he's a zombie. True, he killed my boyfriend. Still, I can't be scared of him, and when he comes back to sit near me, I scoot a little closer to him.

"They must be looking for me," I whisper. Damn. "I thought all we had to worry about was the skeletons."

"Have to hide," R says softly. "Or run."

I shake my head. "Won't work. These guys have night vision goggles on. Probably have all kinds of tech. If they do a thermal scan they'll see this house is warmer than the others, and they'll search it. You, they might miss in the dark, but I'll be lit up like a human glow stick."

R is frowning, I can just barely see in the dim light, and staring at me. "They can't get you," he says. "They won't."

"I'm all in favor of that, believe me. Let me think." I squeeze my eyes shut, swearing under my breath. I must have learned something useful, these past few years.

He's craning his neck to peek out the window. "Getting closer."

"There's a back door," I say, thinking it out. "We could maybe hide from them outside. It's chilly out there but not too bad. Going to have to risk it."

R looks at me, fully serious. "You go. I'll distract."

"What? No!"

He's getting up, pulling me to my feet again, but I'm squirming a lot more this time. "R, I don't want to go without you."

He's pulling me gently but I can't break his grip on my wrist. "You have to." He gets us to the back door and opens it. I stop pulling and just stand next to him, looking out into a sea of shadows. "No bonies," he says.

"How can you possibly-?"

"No people here. For a long time. Please, Julie," he's almost begging me. "Go. Be safe."

I just look up at him as I realize I have to do this. I can't let the guys at the camp use me against my dad. And it would break R's heart if I were captured. "Okay," I whisper. "Please don't get killed."

He almost smiles. "Try not to."

I hear one of the soldiers yelling in the street. Found the house, I'm betting. Shit. I have to go… and I might never see R again. On impulse I stretch up and kiss him, just a peck on the lips. I catch a glimpse of his shocked expression, but then I'm turning and dashing away. Keeping myself safe.

* * *

><p>I stare into the darkness for what seems like a really long time, as my brain tries furiously to figure out what just happened. Because if it weren't impossible, I would have to say that she had kissed me. But that's clearly impossible, unthinkable, for so many reasons. A noise from out front jolts me out of my semi-coma. I need to move, now.<p>

Julie was headed to the right, towards a stand of trees. I take off running to the left, heading for the adjoining back yard. I'm even clumsier than usual, to make sure they see me. Sure enough, I hear some shouts, and looking back, I can see dark figures heading around the corner. I pick up speed. It's hard to run through the overgrown grass and weeds.

"Is it her?" I hear from the darkness behind me.

"Not sure... no, wait... body's not warm enough. Gotta be a corpse." They sound like they might let me go, but that's not enough lead time for Julie. Maybe I should turn around? Attack them? I've never hunted without a pack, because that generally doesn't end well, but...

"Follow it anyway, it'll be going after her." Yes! "But shoot it before it kills her, for god's sake." Well, that's something, I suppose. Nice of them to worry about her.

"She'd be almost as useful dead," the second one replies.

I push myself to run a little faster, trying to see what's up ahead. Maybe I could hide? Wait until they leave, then catch up to Julie? She said they might not find me with their devices, and I'm certain I could follow her scent.

If that had been a kiss - which it wasn't, because that would be crazy - why had she...? Is there any chance that it could happen again? Only a little longer, next time...

Except the pounding footfalls behind me are getting closer, and a beam of light stabs across my nice dark yard. I can see my own shadow. Shit. I angle away from the houses, hoping to make it to the woods. Those look dark, maybe it would help... but I don't get that far before something hits me in the back and I'm tumbling, rolling, tangled up in a net.

The two soldiers shout in triumph. "Got it! Check the woods for the girl!"

They run right past me - not close enough for me to grab or kick, though. I need to get out of this net before they come back, but it's heavy and tangled, and my hands don't work that well anymore.

I try rolling some more, hoping to hide, but there's nowhere, and I hear other soldiers running up now. Most of them go past me. But then hands are on me, deftly muzzling me before I could even think about biting. I close my eyes, hoping desperately that I've given Julie enough time to disappear.

Shouts echo in the woods as I'm hoisted up and carried to the pickup truck. This is a very undignified way to travel. But then nothing about being dead is very dignified, so what does it matter? Julie is the only thing that counts. I try to see - I think they all followed me, thinking I was following her. Good. It worked.

Then I'm dumped in the truck. If I were alive, that would have hurt.

The soldier grunts as he heaves me in. "There you go, corpse," he says. "The doc wants to see you pronto."

Yeah. Yay me, and my exciting new career as a guinea pig.

It doesn't matter. Without Julie, nothing matters.

* * *

><p><em>to be continued tomorrow... <em>

_NaNo has started, so really I ought to drop this and work on my novel, but I've been a bit of a rebel, and I'll be finishing this story within the next few days._

_Review if you like._


	7. Would You Do It All, Do It All For Me?

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

by ChiefPam

I'm running as fast as I can, as quietly as I can. It's a tough balance. And it's really dark out here, and I don't want to crash into anything. My eyes are adjusting a little, now, though. I reach the woods and dart between the trees, stopping for a moment to listen. I can hear them yelling. They're going after R.

Why did he do that? I sniffle and wipe my eyes, which are tearing up a bit in the chilly night air. I want so badly to go after them, to save him. But what am I going to be able to do by myself? I am going to run away, is what. I'm going to survive.

I turn and head farther into the little woodsy patch, slower now because they're not right behind me and there's a lot of stuff to watch out for.

I think I know where the camp is from here; I know how their gate and cage work. If he's there by himself, my earlier plans to rescue him seem a little more tenable. If I can make it there. If he's still in the cage, not in a… lab. Or a trash pile.

Dammit, why do I care? I barely know him, and I met him because he killed my boyfriend. This is not the stuff romances are made out of. Plus, he's, you know, DEAD. He's dead already, Julie. Give it up.

I need to get home, get back into my routine, and forget about him.

'Cause that'll totally work.

Why did he sacrifice himself for me? He could have hidden, could have made it back to his airplane and all his things, could have continued existing… could have avoided being a lab rat for horrible people.

That's more than just being a good person. More than just being a friend. I can't hold back a harsh sob as I realize that… as impossible as it seems… he loves me.

I mean, I knew he liked me. Would have been hard to miss, but… even after all we'd been through, I'd still underestimated him. With his limited vocabulary, he sometimes sounded like a child, but he wasn't. He talked slow, yeah. But I've seen him think fast. There's so much more going on than what he can communicate.

Including emotions.

So… what do I think about that?

I think I want him back, so I can explore it all. Really get to know him. Take however long it takes to really communicate, to really hear what he's saying. And what he's not saying.

But what about Perry? One part of my brain asks, and I have to admit it's a fair question. I loved Perry. Once, anyway. But he'd been unhappy for a long time, and honestly I have to wonder if some part of him wasn't ready to die. Eager, even. He had lost all hope, all joy, all the things I used to love about him. I had tried to help him, to buoy him up, but it didn't work… it never worked.

I sigh, finally admitting defeat. I tried to save him. I failed. It didn't matter how he died, in the end. He'd been gone for a long time.

_Rest in peace, Perry. I'll miss you. _

But now, I want a chance to be with someone who still has hope, who still is willing to try, to fight to be better, to help others. Someone that I hope to hell I can rescue before it's too late.

The woods are petering out, and I can see the outline of houses in front of me. With movement on the far side. I duck down behind a bush. It's not much cover but I'll take what I can get.

Shit, did I end up going in a circle? Or is this the next street over? Are they expecting me or is this all a horrible coincidence?

Wait, those vehicles don't look right. And there are too many of them. Faintly, I hear the familiar crackle of radios. Oh my god. I'm light-headed with relief.

I start running again, then, straight towards them. They're moving away from me, but slowly. Yeah, I know these guys.

"Dad! I'm here, Dad!"

The soldiers at the back of the column turn around when they hear me coming, and their guns are up. Right, they figure I've been turned. I put my hands up, just in case, but keep moving forward.

"Is my dad here? Kevin, is that you?" It's hard to make out details on faces when most of the light is behind them.

Kevin approaches me warily. "Just stay right there, Julie."

"It's okay, I'm not infected."

He obviously doesn't trust that. "Okay, fine." I submit to an eye test, holding myself still with some effort.

The vehicles have stopped. There's a floodlight being aimed our way, and I hold out my hand to shield my eyes. The angle changes so I can see a little. There he is.

"Is she okay?"

"Clear, sir."

"Can I move now, please?" I ask Kevin, but barely wait for an answer, moving forward to throw myself into my dad's arms. He actually hugs me back, which is a little surprising. And then I'm stepping back, to see him.

"Julie, I thought I'd lost you," he says, relief clear on his face.

"Well, you didn't, Dad, but I lost a friend and you have to come help me rescue him right now."

"Whoa, slow down, what?"

"There's another group of survivors out here, at a camp," I try to speak slower, but as I keep talking, my voice just speeds up and goes up in pitch all by itself. "and they rescued me only then they were going to hurt me because they hate you, and skeletons attacked. It was horrible but R helped me get away, and we've been trying to get to the city, but then they came after us, the guys from the camp, and he distracted them so I could get away, and they've probably got him again."

Dad peers intently at me. "A camp?"

"Yeah, there's a scientist there, a Dr. Borsa, I think they said, and he's trying to find a cure, but they hate you."

"Dr. Borsa's still alive?" Dad swears loudly, and I step back another bit. "I'll just bet he does hate me."

And apparently it's mutual.

"Where are they now, Julie?"

"On the other side of that woods, there's another neighborhood, we were hiding in a house." I give him all the details I can remember of the patrol.

He nods, swinging around to face the bulk of the men. "Okay, new mission. There's a small group of soldiers on the north side of that strip of woods. They are a threat and they have a friendly as a hostage. There's a cross street not too far from here. Everybody get on board, we're going to be moving fast."

He pulls me along and sets me in the Jeep, while he stands on the running board shouting orders. I'm getting the shakes, now, and I try to breathe deeply as we pick up speed, clinging to the edge of the seat and bracing myself against the front panel with one leg when we hit a curve. "Dad?" I shout up at him.

"Yeah?" he responds, but he's not looking at me.

"It's about my friend…" I'm trying to speak loudly while breathing deeply, and it's not working that well. "He's…"

"Don't worry about it, Julie. We'll get him back."

Yeah, that's not the part that has me worried. I was so excited to get backup I forgot to realize that R's going to be in as much danger from my side. Maybe more; the guys from the camp are probably not going to shoot him in the head. Dad might.

"Just don't shoot him!"

"I'm not going to shoot at anyone who's not shooting at me," he says. "So if your friend isn't shooting at me, he should be fine."

I hope so. It's dark, maybe they won't notice. Maybe I can hide him, the way he hid me. I'm going to have to try.

We turn another corner and then my heart starts racing again, because I see lights ahead.

"Be ready, men," Dad says on his radio. "I'd rather not kill them but I sure don't want them to kill us. Remember they have a hostage."

Yeah, that's not the way they'd think of him.

The rest of our convoy has come around the corner, and we've been noticed. Their vehicles speed up. They won't be able to outrun us, but a car chase through a deserted suburb at night does not sound like a good idea to me.

The cars stop suddenly, and all their lights are extinguished. Are they making a run for it? That would leave R alone, right? Our headlights illuminate vehicles, but no soldiers.

A sharp noise makes me jump as the Jeep shudders, and the lights ahead dim. What?

"Night vision," Dad says. "Gear up."

They're shooting out the headlights? Makes sense I guess, if they can see in the dark. Dad lightly jumps back from the Jeep and gestures for me. "Julie, get out of the car. I don't want them hitting you."

On shaky legs, I climb out, and he pushes me gently towards the rear of the convoy. I go with it, at first, but as soon as his attention's elsewhere, I start moving sideways, plotting a wide circle around to the other side of the conflict. I need to get to R, fast.

Assuming he's there.

* * *

><p>I let my mind drift for a little while, gloomy thoughts of my future competing with recent memories of Julie. Some of those were pretty gloomy too.<p>

I hadn't planned to tell her about Perry. But she had been looking at me with those big eyes, and thinking nice things about me, and I couldn't stand the guilt.

I usually feel bad after I eat; I don't like hurting people. It's just that the new hunger was so strong, and, well, that's just the way life (or death) was. And besides the hunger… I had craved the feelings that I got, when I ate someone's brain. Tasting their memories, ingesting their emotions, it… filled a void within me. Temporarily. It never lasted. But for a few moments I could forget about *me* and savor the life they'd had. That was addicting.

I'd been gob-smacked by the sight of Julie. Learning more about her from Perry's past just cemented my fascination. I had the weirdest conviction that I needed her. Needed to be with her. My hunger vanished, my addiction faded away, all I wanted was to be near her. That conviction has only grown.

Telling her about Perry was the hardest thing I ever remember doing. But she needed to know. As much as I dreaded telling her, I couldn't stand her not knowing.

I don't know how I expected her to react. But her saying that she had known… that scrambled all my brain cells. She knew, and she'd still talked to me? Trusted me? All I could do after that was apologize.

Until the guys from the camp came along. Then it was like we both forgot about it, and were on the same team again. I miss that. I miss her.

When I hear the soldiers come back, grumbling about having lost her, it perks me up a bit. Enough to get me moving. My fingers aren't that quick, but I can get them to do what I want. Mostly. I need to get out of these ropes. As soon as the truck starts moving, and I'm forgotten in the dark, I begin working on the knots. If I can get away, maybe I could still find Julie.

I don't know how long I'm working on the ropes, but they're starting to loosen when I hear other vehicles approaching. The truck suddenly accelerates, sliding me towards the tailgate. I work harder on the ropes.

The truck slams to a stop, sliding me around again, but this time it helps me; the rope was caught on something. My body weight smashing into the other side of the net breaks some of the ropes, and I'm quick to exploit the new openings. I might get out of here yet.

There's gun fire, and shouting. And then, my senses slam into overdrive. Julie. She's near.

I sit straight up, looking around for her. I can't see much, but her scent is drifting in… there are houses on one side of the truck and road on the other. Lots of men are in the road. Julie seems to be coming from the houses. Smart girl.

More gun fire. Two of the soldiers near the truck are hit, and I can smell their blood. Lots of it. That's probably fatal. With Julie's scent in my nose and her picture in my head, I'm not even a little bit tempted. I slide out of the last of the ropes, pull the muzzle down, and clumsily climb over the side of the truck.

I can't see her. She can't see me, either. "Julie…" I call, as softly as I can. My voice doesn't usually obey me much, but the past few days of practice must have helped.

Faintly, I hear her. "R? Where are you?"

"Coming," I whisper. "From the truck."

"Do you need help?"

"No," I respond, not wanting her to get closer to the danger. My voice slips up a little, though; that was louder than I wanted it to be. One of the soldiers turns towards me, keeps turning as if I'm not there, and then aims his gun towards the house. He must be able to see Julie.

Keep her safe. It's not even a decision so much as an involuntary reaction. I rush towards him and knock him down, trying to grab his gun. I'm not very good at it, apparently. He's fighting me, but hasn't fired yet. I punch him a few times, and he suddenly slumps to the ground.

I'm up and looking for Julie. "Julie?"

"I'm over here," she calls, and I start towards the sound of her voice, the source of her scent. A wide beam of light sweeps across the yard, suddenly. Shit. There's another soldier, closing in on Julie. I charge.

_to be continued..._


	8. Everything That Kills Me

A/N - Sorry I missed updating yesterday! Yesterday, I was working, putting my car in the shop, getting a rental, and setting up for the election; today I was working the election all day long (as in, from 5:45am until 8:45pm - dang, I'm tired). So here's the next bit... hope it doesn't disappoint :)

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

by ChiefPam

* * *

><p>I can barely tell what's happening. R's down there, somewhere; in amongst the increasingly sporadic gun fire I think I can hear a fist fight. I start in that direction, it's got to be him. He calls my name, and I know I'm right.<p>

I answer, moving towards him. A bright beam of light sweeps right over my face, making me flinch, and for a second I can see R. And Kevin, who's coming towards me. Oh, shit.

R crashes into Kevin, and I hurry forward. "R, no!"

More lights are shining in our direction, and R is silhouetted, sitting on top of Kevin, ready to pound him. "No!"

R stops, looking up at me. Kevin uses his distraction to push upward and knock R to the side. He's pulling out his gun as I rush forward, grabbing for R. "Kevin, no! Don't hurt him! He was protecting me!"

The gun goes off, leaving me deaf and blind for a moment, as I collide into R, terrified he's gone. He reaches out to steady me, and I sob with relief; his head is still intact! My ears are still ringing, as I peer into the lights, trying to keep R behind me. "Don't hurt him! He's my friend."

"Julie," I hear my dad's voice. It's not as controlled as normal, just a little sharp with fear. "That's not your friend, that's a corpse. Get away from him."

"I know he's a corpse," I shout back, scared. "He's also my friend. Please! You said you wouldn't shoot him!"

"Julie, move, now."

"Dad, you have to listen to me." My eyes are adjusting, I can see him now, pointing a pistol at us. "This is R. He rescued me – saved my life a couple of times. He's not a threat!"

There's a commotion in the background, and I can see my dad turn his head and swear. He looks back at us and I can practically hear him prioritizing the dangers. "Kevin, cover the corpse. If he even starts to attack…"

I don't know if he finishes that sentence or not, as he vanishes from view. I swing my head to look at Kevin, who is watching me doubtfully. His gun's out but not pointed at us. Yet.

"Don't shoot me, okay?"

"Not unless I have to," he replies.

"Good." With that I turn my back on him, and put my arms around R, sagging into his embrace. He staggers a bit, just at first, but then gathers me close. It feels wonderful. "Are you okay?" I ask quietly.

"I'm okay," he says. "So far."

"Oh, thank god." I press my face to his chest, squeezing my eyes tight to try to keep tears from leaking out. It doesn't entirely work, but at least I feel my breathing start to slow. I turn my head, laying my cheek against his chest. There's a sudden thumping sound in my ear, and I freeze. Listening closely.

"Julie," he says, and I can feel his chest vibrate.

"Shh!"

Nothing.

Still nothing.

_Tha-thump._

I pull my head back and stare at him in shock. Is that what I think it is?

The street has gone quiet, and I hear Dad telling somebody to come over here and help Kevin keep an eye on the corpse. I turn to frown at whoever it is, peering through the dimness.

He comes up the yard, and comes to a stop by Kevin. Wearing his own night vision goggles, I see. I just watch as he looks at us. Then he pulls off the goggles, and looks with his eyes. Then puts them back on. "Sir?"

"Yeah, what?"

"I don't see any corpses. All I see is two warm bodies."

I start to laugh, smiling up at R. "You're alive!"

* * *

><p>I look down at Julie, trying to understand what she's saying. Alive? I can't be. I mean, I haven't been. It's not possible. "What?"<p>

She's smiling broadly, running her hands over my neck. "You feel warmer than before," she says happily. "And I heard your heart beat."

"I don't have…" as I'm saying it, I become aware of a thudding sensation from the vicinity of my chest. I look down, as if I'd be able to see something, and then back up at her face. "I do?"

"Yep, I think so."

"How?"

"I don't know, and I don't care!" She hugs me again, briefly, then pulls back, looking up at me with a softer smile. She's studying my face, and something in her expression catches my breath. Her hands creep towards the back of my neck, exerting just a tiny bit of pressure, pulling my head downward. She looks at my lips, then back at my eyes, and I lose awareness of everything but her. She moves towards me, way too slowly, and then her lips are touching mine.

My eyes close involuntarily, and I shiver at the warm touch of her kiss. It's like last time, only so much better because it's slower, and not fueled by desperation. I don't exactly know how to kiss, but I try to match her movements, and apparently part of me has some notion of what to do.

I can smell her, her essential Julie-ness, and I feel almost drunk on the sensation. And then her tongue touches me, lightly running over my lips, and the thudding in my chest speeds up. My arms are around her, and I'm running my hands up and down her back, pulling her a little closer.

It hits me with a sense of wonder that I actually want her. Not just emotionally, this time. Physically, there's a reaction. I pull back, detaching from her lips slowly, but I have to see her face. I'm really not dead anymore.

She opens her eyes slowly, and smiles up at me. "Whoa." Then she looks down, and her eyes widen. I know she's felt my reaction by the way she presses her hips into mine. "You really are alive," she murmurs.

"Yeah," I say, in bewildered wonder. I want to say so much else, but talking's not my best thing, and kissing is far more important right now, anyway. I go back for another taste of ambrosia, and this time, I'm ready to open my lips.

"Excuse me!"

Julie jumps a little, breaking the kiss but not leaving my arms. She maneuvers us sideways a little, so we can both see her dad standing there glaring at us.

"Hi, dad," she says, a little sheepishly.

"What is this."

"This is R," she introduces. "R, meet my dad."

I nod my head nervously. "Colonel Grigio," I say carefully.

His eyebrows raise at that. "You know my name?"

"They did, too," I say. "They wanted… to hurt Julie."

"Huh."

"R saved me, Dad," Julie says. "The skeletons attacked the camp, but R hid me from them – well, first, he saved me in the lab. Corpses can smell us, did you know? And he put blood on me so the other guys didn't know I was alive, so they didn't kill me. And then when the soldiers attacked the corpse pack, he got between me and bullets. They captured him and put him in a pen, and I talked to him, and… so when the skeletons showed up…"

"You're going to have to tell me that later," Grigio says, looking bemused at the flow of words. "Right now, we should get the hell out of here. I've been talking with some of these guys from the camp. Skeletons are still after them, so we need to get back behind the walls pronto."

"Okay," Julie says. "But only if we can bring R with us."

"Yeah, definitely. He and I need to have a chat. But first, let's get you safe."

I totally agree with him on keeping Julie safe. The part about the chat makes me nervous, but Julie gives me another hug then, and all my fears vanish as happiness spreads throughout me. I've never ever felt this good.

* * *

><p>We end up squished in the back seat of the jeep. R gets in first, and I follow, maintaining contact with him. Practically sitting in his lap, with his arms around me. I lay my head on his shoulder and try to stifle a yawn. Now that the excitement's over I'm feeling very tired. Kevin sits on my other side, and he's watching us, not quite as tense as earlier, but still obviously uncomfortable.<p>

"It's okay, Kevin," I say sleepily. "He's okay."

I feel R's head turn. "Hi," he says.

Kevin's eyes widen just a bit, then he tries to smile. "Hi. I'm Kevin."

"Sorry for… hitting you," R says.

"Yeah, well, it's okay," Kevin replies, with a hint of rueful amusement. "You thought I was gonna hurt Julie."

I smile sleepily. If they're talking, they'll be okay. That's my last thought before the world slips away.

* * *

><p>I feel Julie relax further against me, and look down. Her eyes are closed, and her breathing is deep and regular.<p>

Kevin cranes his head. "Is she asleep?" he asks quietly.

"Not sure," I say. I didn't really get to see her fall asleep last night, it was too dark in the room, but she had looked like this this morning. "Think so." I can't help smiling. The feeling of her body slack and trusting in my arms is incredibly sweet. I tighten my hold, just a little, trying to make sure she's comfortable. The truck speeds up and goes over a bump, but she barely moves.

"She looks tired," Kevin says, tentatively.

"Yeah," I say.

"So… she said you were captured. Um, why…?"

Why didn't they just shoot me in the head, like he would have done? "Research," I say. Then I figure I ought to elaborate, so I take a deep breath. Talking should be easier if I'm alive, right? "They wanted to cut me open – find a cure."

"Huh. Well, you seem to be cured."

"Not by them," I say, pressing a light kiss onto the top of Julie's head. "What happened with them?"

"Oh, well, they were outnumbered. We were taking them down. I saw you hit the guy aiming at Julie. Thanks for that," he adds, sounding awkward. "The Colonel wants to go close out the camp, but that'll have to wait until tomorrow. Some of our outer patrols are reporting skeletons moving towards the city."

That's not good. "How are the walls?"

"Oh, they're good," he assures me. "High and strong. If we can reach them in time."

The truck speeds up again, as if the driver was listening.

It occurs to me that the downside of being alive is the possibility of dying again. It feels good to feel this connection with Julie, but now I have so much more to lose, and the fear is suddenly choking me. "Will we?" I ask.

Kevin looks at me closely, in the intermittent light. "Hey, we'll make it. Are you scared?"

I nod tightly. "Don't want to die again."

He smiles slightly. "I'll just bet not. Looks like you've got a lot to live for."

* * *

><p><em>to be continued...<em>

_If there's anything in particular you want to see wrapped up in this story, let me know! The last part isn't written yet so I'll consider requests. :)_

_Thanks to everyone who's been reading, reviewing, favoriting & following. I'm really glad you've been enjoying this._

_p.s. This chapter title, in case you were wondering, is from a music vid that NotMarge made for Warm Bodies - she calls it "Love in a Time of Apocalypse" and it's to OneRepublic's "Counting Stars" - which includes the line "Everything that kills me... makes me feel alive" :)_


	9. Makes Me Feel Alive

_A/N - I apologize for the delay; Real Life has been hitting me pretty hard this week and I haven't been able to write much of anything. Plus it took me a little while to figure out where this should go next. I think I'm about done writing it now, so maybe 11 chapters will do it. If I can figure out what to name them all; I'm running out of music vids!_

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

by ChiefPam

* * *

><p>A sudden jolt wakes me up, and I'm confused. I'm warm and laying on something, but there's a sensation of movement. I lift my head and look around. Oh, I must have fallen asleep on R. I look up at him.<p>

He smiles at me. "Hey."

"Sorry, didn't mean to sleep on you."

"It's okay. More than okay."

I reach up to touch his cheek, reassuring myself that he's got body heat now. He does. I smile.

The jeep hits a pothole hard, sending me a little further into R. Not that I mind. But then I realize that we're stopping. I try looking around; it's dark out. "Are we there?"

"No," Kevin says, a worried note in his voice.

"The convoy stopped," the driver explains. "I don't know why-"

On cue, the radio crackles and I can hear my dad explaining that there's a bridge up ahead. It should be fine, but a zombie apocalypse gets in the way of infrastructure maintenance. Dad's sending a squad to walk across and scout it out.

After a few moments, I get antsy. I like being squeezed in close to R, yeah, but I don't need to be this close to Kevin. "Can we step out for a minute?"

The driver shrugs. "I'm going to, so you might as well."

That answers that. He shuts down the motor and gets out, opening the door for us, as well. R steps out cautiously, and I jump out after him, grabbing a flashlight from the back of the jeep. "Let's go see what's up."

I take his hand as we walk, and I see him smile a little as I lead him up to the front of the convoy. My dad sees us coming and walks towards us. "Julie, you should wait in the Jeep."

I don't see why. "How's the bridge?"

He frowns at me. "They'll be able to tell us in a few minutes." He looks from me to R. "Julie, you go wait in the Jeep. I want to talk to your friend."

I grab R's hand tighter. "You're not going to shoot him, right?"

He smiles at me. That is not reassuring. "Not if you get back in the Jeep."

I roll my eyes. "The Jeep isn't any safer."

"I want to talk to him without you here, Julie."

R looks at me, hesitantly. "It's o… okay."

"Fine. Promise not to shoot him?" I ask Dad.

He nods. It should be okay, now that R has a pulse again.

"Well, then I guess I'll be waiting in the Jeep." I go up on tiptoes to press a quick kiss to R's lips, just as a little demonstration to both of them. "For a few minutes, anyway."

* * *

><p>I watch Julie walk away, feeling more apprehensive than I want her to know. All I can think about is the collection of memories of a very uncomfortable dinner spent with Julie and her dad. They aren't my memories, of course, but that just makes it worse. Perry had been human. I don't even know what I am.<p>

I turn to look at her dad, who's also watching her walk away. "I almost lost her. I thought I had," he says quietly, then switches his focus to me.

"I was bringing her back," I manage to say. "Before they found us."

He stares at me, inspecting me, and I shrink in on myself a little, gazing back uncertainly.

"When Nora said you took Julie out of that lab, instead of killing her, I didn't know what to think."

Nora? That name sounds familiar. Right, Julie's friend. Wait, she saw me? "She was there?"

He nods.

"Oh. I didn't know."

"Just as well, don't you think?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I had Julie," I say, in partial explanation. Don't need to mention the part where I'd just eaten. "Wouldn't have hurt Nora. Good thing the others didn't know."

"Yeah. So why did you kidnap my daughter?"

I can only shrug. "I don't know. Wanted her… with me. Wanted her safe." Just plain wanted her, in fact. Still do.

He peers at me more intently. "But you didn't want her for supper."

"Never." I don't think I could explain even if I didn't have such a hard time forcing out words.

He studies me for a moment longer, then seems to relax. "Okay, then. Thanks."

* * *

><p>I walk back towards the Jeep, near the end of the convoy, still sleepy but also now annoyed. It's silly to send me back here, because that vehicle wouldn't stop a boney attack. Dad knows that. I don't know, maybe he's on one of his overprotective fits. I guess after the past couple of days, I could understand that.<p>

I'm almost at the jeep when I hear something from the side off the road. I freeze in place, then slowly turn to peer into the bushes. I think I see movement. Shit.

I speed up. All of a sudden getting in the Jeep sounds like a really good idea. Damn, I wish I'd asked for a gun. I'm reaching for the door handle when I hear a quiet, "Yo. Julie."

I know that voice. Slowly, I turn to face the side of the road, looking over the hood of the Jeep. A pale blob moves forward and resolves itself into a face.

Shit. Zombies. Right here. My pulse speeds up and I try to figure out where the closest gun is.

Wait, he's talking to me. Not attacking. And I think I recognize him. It's R's friend. Our shuffle-buddy.

"What" My voice is too faint, I stop and clear my throat, trying again. "What are you doing here?"

"Bonies… chased me out." He pauses, and I wait, recognizing the need to gather breath before pushing out more syllables. Apparently that's a zombie thing. "Came to find… R. Where is he?"

I swallow, then point. "Over there, talking to my dad."

His eyes widen in alarm.

"No, it's okay. He's… he's…" Words are failing me. "He actually seems to have… come back to life."

A look of wonder moves over the friend's face.

"What's your name, by the way? Do you know?"

"Think it's… M…Marcus."

"Wow, you remember a whole name. R will be jealous." I'm starting to relax now, but I still shoot a look towards the rest of the group. Although now I'm not sure if I want them coming closer. I feel kind of protective towards Marcus.

He leans in, his face becoming graver again. "Bonies… looking for him." Oh, crap. Those things are wicked scary, and here we are stuck outside the walls. "And you," he adds.

Whatever. If they find R they'll find me, and if they attack him I'll be fighting back. They might as well have me as a target from the get-go.

"You… started something." He gestures behind him, and I realize with a start that there are more corpses standing further from the road. "Changes."

I stare at him, my eyes widening now. "You mean R might not be the only one?"

He nods, a gleam in his eyes. "Lots of us… changing." He taps his temple, his eyes going sideways as he thinks. "Last night… I saw… pictures. Memories. My mom. A girl."

Holy shit. "You were dreaming."

"A dream," he repeats, wonderingly.

I take a deep breath. "That's kind of a big deal. I have to tell R. We're changing everything."

He nods. "We are."

"Stay right here," I tell him. "I'll be right back."

The soldiers are coming back, relieving me of the need to make to make conversation with Julie's dad. I see Kevin amongst them, the only other human I've talked to.

The other soldiers are shooting me looks ranging from apprehensive to hostile. I look down, trying to appear as harmless as I can. I can't blame them for worrying.

"Sir, the right edge is crumbling, but the left appears to be okay."

Colonel Grigio looks relieved. "Great. I didn't want to have to try to find another way around." He raises his voice. "Everybody back in the trucks, keep to the left." His voice goes sarcastic. "Watch out for oncoming traffic."

A few of the soldiers laugh, but it's half-hearted. They start streaming past me to get to their vehicles.

"R!"

I hear Julie's voice from behind me and turn automatically towards her. I suspect I always will.

Her dad turns as well, and frowns. "I thought I told you to wait in the Jeep."

She waves that off. "Yeah, I was gonna, but then, um, I saw an old friend."

Grigio swears softly. "I'm sorry."

It takes me a moment to process that; I guess humans have had experience meeting their former loved ones after death. That must be awful. Perry thought so.

"I'll take care of it," Grigio says grimly, unholstering his pistol.

She holds out an arm. "No, don't. It's… actually R's friend. That I met a few days ago."

I blink. "What?"

She beams at me. "He says his name is Marcus, and that he's changing. That lots of them are changing, just like you!"

Grigio swears again, louder. "How many effing zombies am I supposed to not shoot?"

"Shoot the bonies," I offer, then look back at Julie. "He's here?" And he remembers his whole name? It briefly occurs to me to be jealous, but then I decide against it. Julie named me. That's better.

"Bonies?"

"That's what they call the skeletons, Dad," Julie explains, reaching for my hand again.

Trucks have been coming to life around me, and the first one starts moving slowly forward.

A radio crackles. "Zombie movement detected at the rear!"

Grigio flashes me a look, sighs, and picks up his radio. "What type of zombie? Corpses or skeletons?"

"Skeletons, sir."

Shit. "Get in the Jeep, Julie," he orders. I'm already dragging her towards it.

We reach the jeep, and I see my friend - Marcus - lurking in the shadows. "Bonies," I say, falling back into old speech patterns. "Behind us."

He looks around, and behind him, I can see a small crowd. Wow. We really are changing everything.

"R," he says carefully. He remembers my Julie-given name, which makes me happy. Then his expression changes, and he sniffs the air. "Living."

Julie laughs. "Yeah, but don't eat him."

He looks amused. I think. Then his head turns as we hear a skeleton scream, not nearly far enough away. He turns back to us and says, "Run."

"Keep them away," I ask him.

"We will."

Good enough. Kevin's waving frantically at us, wanting us in the Jeep and I'm not sure who he's more spooked by, my friends or our (now) common enemies.

Skeletons can't shoot you in the head, but they'll eat anything with a heartbeat and I'd like to keep my internal organs where they are, thank you very much. I bundle Julie into the Jeep and squeeze in beside her. The driver barely waits for me to shut the door before taking off.

I look behind, and think I can see my friends - a lot of them, wow - fanning out to block the road behind us.

There's a louder, nearer scream, and then one of my friends is staggering backwards. Marcus goes towards him and kicks the skeleton sideways.

The other soldier in the front seat is watching this too, I realize, as I hear him report on the radio. "We're seeing corpses fighting skeletons, sir."

The reply comes back promptly. "Good. Some of the corpses are apparently on our side now. Shoot the skeletons if you get a chance, but mostly we're getting the hell out of here."

The ride is much bumpier than before but I don't care. I put my arms around Julie, accidentally brushing against Kevin in the process. He looks, but doesn't seem to care.

Maybe I can be accepted. It's starting to look that way. I don't want to win any popularity contests; I just want to be with Julie. In whatever way she'll have me.

I flash back to her earlier kiss, right there in front of her dad and everything. She was making her feelings clear.

I just hope they last. Things fade away; that's been my common experience for as long as I can remember. Things fade. Feelings fade. Memories fade. Leaving nothing but emptiness.

She works her arms around me, too, pulling herself closer. "R, this is so exciting. I think we're changing the whole world. Exhuming the whole world."

Exhume… that word sounds strange. Then it comes to me - exhume means digging up a corpse. Strangely appropriate, and faintly familiar in a Perry-tinted sort of way. "Yeah."

If we're changing everything, then maybe the tendency to fade away will change, too. I know how I feel, and I don't think my feelings will ever go away. This woman in my arms literally brought me to life, but even before then, from the moment I saw her, I knew I'd do anything for her.

I think that means I love her. Yeah, sounds right.

I think we're across the bridge now, and I hear radio chatter about opening the wall and getting soldiers in place to cover our retreat. I look at Julie.

"They'll have sharp shooters on the wall, with night vision scopes, and they'll shoot any skeletons that are following behind us. It's happened before."

"Yeah," Kevin chimes in. "We're getting pretty good at it. Guess we'll have to learn new things."

That sounds great to me.

A few more minutes, and we're through an opening, and then a door slams shut behind us. I feel Julie relax in my arms, and I do the same. Never thought I'd be inside the city. Lots of impossible things happening today.

"So now what?" I ask.

Julie opens the car door and we get out, with me on suddenly shaky legs. "Well, I don't know. We'll want to get you checked out by medics at some point. Oh, and I have to make sure that they don't shoot your friends." She flashes me a smile. "Our friends."

I nod. "Think your dad is on it."

As I speak the radio is making noise again, and Grigio's telling his men to shoot the skeletons, not the corpses. I hope they listen.

"Good. In that case, let's go home," Julie says. "My place, I mean. I want to go to bed."

* * *

><p><em>to be continued... maybe tomorrow. Please review so I know you haven't given up on this yet...<em>


	10. Lately I've Been, I've Been Losing Sleep

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

by ChiefPam

* * *

><p>I lean back against the Jeep, slowly assimilating that we made it. Well, not Marcus or the other corpses. I hope they're okay. But it's not like skeletons can shoot them in the head, right? As far as I know, that's the only way to keep a corpse down permanently. Dad's telling his men not to shoot the corpses. So I think my work here is done. R thinks so too, and says as much.<p>

"Good. In that case, let's go home," I say, thinking longingly of a hot shower and my big four-poster bed. "My place, I mean. I want to go to bed."

R looks at me funny, and I realize what I just said. "To sleep," I hastily add. "You can stay at my place for now, okay?"

He nods, looking more relieved than anything.

My dad is walking over towards me, and grabs me into another hug. I hug back, a little bemused by the display of affection.

"Welcome home," he says in my ear.

I smile and hug him a little tighter. "Good to be back."

I pull back and smile at R. "Not that the last few days haven't been interesting. Yesterday was great, actually."

My dad raises an eyebrow in silent question.

"We took a rain day and just hung out in a house. Probably shouldn't have; it gave the camp guys time to catch up with us, but it was really nice to just have a quiet day."

Dad looks pained. "I sent patrols out looking for you, for days."

I wince. Hadn't really thought about it from his perspective. "Yeah, sorry about that."

He shakes his head, dismissing it. "You're back safe; that's all that matters."

"And your patrols did find me - well, I found them, but close enough. You saved me, Dad. Saved us both."

"Julie!"

I barely turn in time to catch Nora as she launches herself at me. I stagger backwards and she springs back. "You're back! You're alive! I was so scared when that zombie took you…"

I grin. "I'm fine. Thanks to the zombie." I gesture to R, next to me, and enjoy her look of shock. He's ducking his head, again, looking down.

"Oh my god. Is that him?" She backs up.

"Yeah." And I'm too far away from him, I think. I step closer and put an arm around his waist. After a startled second, I feel his arm come around my shoulders. "And he's not a zombie anymore. Nora, I'd like to introduce you to R."

R says a quiet "Hi." He's still not as good talking to other people as he is with me. But he'll get better.

She looks around at all the soldiers moving about purposefully. "How did you get him in here?"

"In the jeep. They know he's alive; he glows on their thermal sensors now. Oh, I have such a story to tell you. Come on, I'll tell you while we walk; I want to go home."

Nora nods assent, and I tug on R's waist to get him started walking in the right direction.

"I heard some stuff, already," Nora says. "About Dr. Borsa's camp, and them wanting to use you as a hostage or something, but the zombie part? Not mentioned."

"The short version is, R saved my life. A lot."

"And she saved mine," R adds.

"So, let me see if I understand this properly," Nora says, looking sideways at R as we leave the warehouse. "You were dead."

"Ye..yes," R agrees.

"And you attacked our salvage group."

He winces, then nods. "We... we were hungry."

"He didn't attack me, Nora."

"And why not?"

R shrugs. "Not sure I can explain, but when I saw her... I just wanted to keep her safe."

"He was staring at me," I chip in. "I had run out of ammo, most everybody was dead. I thought you were dead, honestly. So when he came towards me I was certain I was dead, too, but..." I smile up at R. "He said my name. And then he made the others think I was already dead, so they didn't kill me."

"Cool," Nora breathes out. "How?"

"Put some blood on my face, which, yuck. But he saved my life."

"Yeah, and dragged you out of there. So that's when the guys at the camp rescued you?"

I make a rude noise. "They didn't do it on purpose, they thought I was dead, too. When I talked to them, I could tell they didn't like my dad, or the city, so I didn't tell them my real name. I think they were going to bring me back, but then somehow they found out who I was." I look up at R.

"I heard them," he says, speaking as steadily as he can. He's getting better all the time, really. "They were out and saw the patrols searching for Julie, and heard what happened. So they figured out… who she was. Wanted to use her as leverage."

"But before they could, skeletons attacked the camp. A lot of them. And I hid amongst the corpses, with R."

Nora's looking at me like I'm insane. "Whoa, back the truck up, I think you missed a few steps there."

"Oh, right. Well, the camp guys put all the corpses in this, like, cage. I happened to get close to it, and you know what this guy said?"

"Your name," R interjects.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, he said my name, first, but then he asked me if I was okay. Like it really mattered to him. Does that sound like a zombie to you?"

Nora's eyes are getting wider. "No, not really."

"So…" I shrug, enjoying the weight of R's arm on my shoulders. "I talked to him a little. And then the people there weren't very nice, and I ended up talking to him again the next day." I shrug. "R was sweet, concerned about me. He was nicer than anybody else there. He told me about himself. Definitely not what I was expecting. And he told me why he'd put the blood on my face. So when the skeletons showed up, all I could think was that he'd hid me once already. I knew I wouldn't stand a chance otherwise."

Nora shudders, but I can tell she's fascinated. "No, you wouldn't And what did the other corpses do about this?"

"R told them to leave me alone," I say. "And they did."

Her eyebrow raises. "Really?"

"Yeah."

She looks at R. "Do they usually do what you tell them to?"

R shakes his head. "Don't usually tell them anything. Didn't usually talk."

"All I know is, a bunch of hungry zombies were looking at me like I was something they'd never ever seen before, just because I was holding onto R. After that, they weren't the least bit aggressive. Before then, yeah, but when they saw us together... it was weird, Nora, I can't explain it, but something happened."

"So, if you came back to life," Nora says, looking at R. "What about the rest of them?"

"Well, we don't know yet. Maybe."

R smiles. "But we have hope."

* * *

><p>Julie lives in a really big house. I have to admit I'm feeling tired. Julie leads me up the stairs and into a colorful room with a big bed. "Come on," she says. "I need to sleep and I want you to be my pillow."<p>

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, remembering the prior night when I didn't think she wanted me to be in the same room with her. This time, yeah, there's a physical aspect of it - I'm glad that's working again - but still, what really gets me is the trust. That she wants to be that close to me.

She changes into sleep wear. There's not much large enough for me to wear but she gives me a clean t-shirt and steals one of her dad's pairs of boxer shorts. That makes me feel a lot better, considering how filthy my clothes are. I mean, you try wearing the same set of clothing for years at a time. While being a messy eater. I don't need to think about that right now.

She crawls into the bed and holds the covers open for me. I take a moment just to admire the sight in front of me. One more impossibility in a day full of them.

Her expression turns impatient, then softens to a smile. "Yeah, I know, we're moving fast, but I just want to sleep, R, okay? No funny business," she adds, laughing.

I smile and climb in with her. I lie on my back, not knowing what else to do, and she curls up to my side, with her head on my shoulder. I tentatively put an arm around her. She snuggles a little closer, yawning. "Go to sleep, R," Julie says softly.

I have no intention of sleeping. I don't think I know how. And just lying there with Julie in my arms is amazing. Especially as her breathing slows and she relaxes further against me. So trusting. So beautiful. So… the world gets fuzzy, and my thoughts wander.

I open my eyes to see a bright meadow. What? Where's Julie?

"She's right where you left her, champ," a familiar voice says, and I turn to see… Perry. I've seen his memories from his perspective, but this is different. "You're dreaming."

I look around, taking in details of a place that I know I've never seen before. "How is this possible?"

He shrugs. "Don't know, don't care. How is it possible for a corpse to get the girl?"

Apprehension grips me. What if it was all a dream? How would I even know?

He studies me. "Don't worry. She wants you. Took her forever to sleep with me. Of course, that was back in high school, and, well, you've met her dad."

This feels very unreal. "Yeah."

"He's scary even when you're alive to start with, trust me. Saving Julie's life was a good strategy, though."

"It… wasn't a strategy."

His expression softens a little. "Yeah, I know. I had a feeling about you, when I first saw you. Why do you think I didn't shoot you in the head?"

That floors me. "You… missed on purpose?"

He scoffs. "Dude, I was up on the counter and you were totally focused on going after her. You really think I couldn't have hit you from that distance?"

"I never thought about it."

"Yeah, thinking's not your best thing," he says. "Seriously, though. Ponder it sometime. Or not; just trust me. I could have taken you out. But I saw how you were looking at her, and… I was so tired."

I look at him. He does seem more relaxed than I remember. Less grief-stricken and over-burdened.

"Not that I didn't regret it," he adds, grinning. "Briefly. You were pretty efficient at killing me, though, so thanks for that."

This is the most bizarre conversation ever. "Uh, yeah. I always tried to be…"

"You were a very considerate zombie," he says, smirking. "You didn't have to steal my watch, though!"

I look down. "Hey, it was a nice watch."

"Yeah." He sobers. "R - I'm not going to be hanging around. So before I go…"

"How are you even here?"

He shrugs. "How did you see my memories? Oh, and by the way, you missed some really good ones. If you know what I mean. I guess you'll have to make your own. Julie seems to want to help out with that. Anyway … take care of her, okay?"

This, I have no trouble with. "I will. I promise."

"She might miss me sometimes," Perry says, looking wistful. "Tell her I'm okay. I was ready to go."

Words are sticking in my throat, not in the usual can't-enunciate way, either. "Okay. Thanks."

"Thanks, yourself. You took care of my girl when I couldn't. You'll do alright now."

"I hope so," I say. I remember something, vaguely, and think now would be an appropriate time. I extend my hand towards him.

He looks, then reaches out to shake my hand. "It's been a trip. Bye." He hesitates, dropping my hand, then says softly, "If you don't mind… tell Julie I loved her, and I'm sorry I was such a dickhead for the last year. The thing with my dad just really messed me up. I know she knows that; she was way too understanding, but… just tell her I'm sorry. She deserved better." He looks me up and down. I look down to see the familiar hoodie and jeans. "You'll do."

"I'll tell her," I say, my voice sounding strange in my own ears.

"Oh, by the way… when I was wandering around in your brain, I saw your memories, too. Even the ones you can't get to anymore. I don't think you want to, either. Some of 'em aren't pretty."

I have no trouble believing that. "Can you tell me my name?"

"I could," he says, then grins. "But I'm not going to. You never liked it anyway." He turns, giving me a little wave. "Okay, then, I'm out."

I just watch him walk away, and as he gets a few feet away I start to be able to see apple trees right through him as he fades away.

I have no idea what that was. When I ate his brain, I got to see his memories, but I never expected any of _him_ to come with it. I guess it makes sense. Electrical energy in the brain or something? I don't know.

I look up at the blue sky that goes on forever and it almost feels like I'm flying…

I wake up to find Julie curled up next to me. I'm on my side, with her in front of me, and apparently my arms wanted to be around her. Her back feels amazing, flush against my front. I pull my head back, just a little, the better to appreciate the sight, then decide it's better to close my eyes and lean in close. My every dream has come true, so unexpectedly.

Speaking of which… I had a dream? I guess that's what that was. Julie said Marcus had done it, and I'd been jealous, but now… I just lay there savoring the experience. It was so unreal to talk to Perry.

It fits what I saw in his memories. Maybe I just want to be forgiven, but thinking back, he's right. The dream version, I mean. He could have killed me. If he had… the others would have killed him, probably, and gotten Julie as well.

I flinch at the thought of her being harmed, and hold her a little bit tighter. She stirs, and slowly rolls onto her back, staying near. She smiles sleepily up at me and my heart contracts.

"Good morning."

"Good morning."

"So, how'd you sleep?"

"I actually slept," I tell her, still kind of amazed about the fact.

"Good. You know, I think it might be raining today."

I look around; her window is covered and I don't hear anything. "Not sure."

She smiles slowly, rolling onto her side to face me, and runs an hand over my arm. "Well, it might be. So, you know, I was thinking we could just stay here all day long…" She leans in to kiss me, and I return the kiss with clumsy enthusiasm.

Kissing while standing up was amazing. Kissing while lying down - kissing while alive - is so much better. I'll give her Perry's message later; right now I have other things to focus on.

* * *

><p><em>to be continued... One more chapter ought to do it :) Brigid, I appreciate you sticking with me on this one! I hope Comet Moon sees this part...<em>


	11. Dreaming About the Things We Could Be

**Would You Love a Monsterman**

by ChiefPam

I love kissing R. He's not an expert, but he learns fast and he shows his emotions so plainly. I feel… cherished. I love that.

Do I love him? Yeah, probably do. The thought is scary, but in a good way. At least he's not dead anymore.

We probably ought to slow this down. I just know Dad or Nora are going to come along and interrupt us soon. Plus, he's only just come back to life. I pull back a little bit, softening my withdrawal with a shorter kiss before I go. R opens his eyes and smiles at me

He is so adorable. "I can tell you're alive," I mention, smirking at him. "All the way."

His smile widens. "Me, too."

He clearly wants me, but seems perfectly willing to lie there just looking at me. I take the opportunity to study him, too. "Hey, I just noticed… your eyes. They turned blue."

"Like yours," he says, happily.

Craning my neck back to see him is starting to be a pain, so I gently roll him over onto his back and settle in against his side. He takes the opportunity to adjust his hold on me.

I have no idea how he's alive again. It makes no sense whatsoever. But then, the plague in general never really did, either. I mean, how does a virus turn dead people into walking corpses that are compelled to eat human flesh? I decide that the whole thing was basically magic, so reversing it doesn't have to be any more rational. "Dr. Borsa was on the wrong track," I mutter.

"What?" R asks.

"Oh, just thinking. If love is the cure, then the guys at the camp never had a chance at finding it."

"Love?" he asks softly.

I lift my head and look at him. I really hadn't thought it through before saying it, but on reflection… I smile, slowly, and lightly kiss him. "What would you call it?"

He smiles automatically, looking down at me with the same awestruck wonder I'm feeling for him. "Connection?"

"Love," I correct him firmly. "You loved me from the moment you saw me, didn't you?"

He tilts his head, thinking that over. Looking a bit vulnerable. "Yeah, guess so."

"Well, it took me a little longer, but I caught up with you." I'm feeling just a little euphoric, and it's making me silly, but I really don't care. "You won me over by being adorable."

I don't know when I fell in love with R, exactly. One of the times he saved my life? Might have been when we were relaxing, talking, and playing Go Fish. Or maybe it didn't come together until I kissed him. Doesn't matter.

I wanted the chance to get to know him better, to explore where this could go, and now… I think I have it.

I tilt my head up to see R, just watching me with a soft smile. "Hey," I say quietly. "You know what we were talking about, right before the camp guys showed up?"

His smile fades, and he looks uncertain.

"Let's not tell anyone about that, okay? They don't need to know."

He looks at me for a moment, then slowly nods.

"You are a good person, R," I tell him. Forgiving him without stating it aloud. Putting it into words would make it too real. From the way his body relaxes, I know he understands.

"Thank you," he says, with heart-felt emotion.

I lay down on his shoulder again. I know we'll still have to discuss it, and I'll keep having to work through my feelings about the whole matter, but not forgiving him is not an option. He saved my life, he loves me… I love him. Everything else, we'll just have to figure out as we go along.

* * *

><p>I wonder if it was this hard learning to read the first time around. The squiggles on the page hold meaning, I know that. I just can't unlock it all yet.<p>

Julie's been teaching me. Wonderful, beautiful, magical, patient Julie. She keeps telling me it's just symbols, like when we play cards. I admit, I learned my numbers from that. Of course, at first I thought J, Q, K, and A were numbers, too, but then I found out that they're not.

We practice daily. Me reading, I mean, not playing Go Fish. Although we do that a lot, too. Julie says it has sentimental value - we got to know each other over that game, and that day we spent in the suburbs, just the two of us.

But right now, I'm staring at a page and it's refusing to talk to me. "This isn't working," I grumble.

Julie reaches out to hold my hand. "Let's do something else then."

I look at her and smile hopefully. "Make out on the couch?"

She laughs. "Later, loverboy. When my dad's safely at work."

I've been staying in her house, these last two weeks, although the Colonel insisted on me having my own room. I even sleep in it sometimes. But most nights I'm in with Julie. We both prefer it that way. Even though I'm not supposed to have any vigorous exercise until my body's fully healed, which means sleeping is all we do. Well, that and a good amount of kissing and cuddling.

"By something else I mean attack this from a different direction. I'm going to teach you to write, instead."

So, she teaches me how to form the letters, and I learn what they sound like. She tells me how to put them together to make words, and I start to recognize the words. It's another week before I realize that I can read.

That's when I start on my secret project. I've been here in the city for month, fully human. Julie and I have spent most of that time together, and Kevin says that if she hasn't gotten sick of me yet, she probably never will. My project takes me a while to complete, which is frustrating, but that's mostly because of all the time I'm with Julie, and I'll never complain about that. I finally finished it last night, though, so now I'm ready.

I think I probably should be nervous, but I'm not.

I look up from the magazine I was reading, after her dad leaves for work. "Julie?"

"Yeah?" she asks from the other end of the couch.

"I have something to show you."

She looks up from her book and smirks at me. "Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"Something I've been working on." Carefully, I pull the folded slip of paper out of my shirt pocket and pass it to her.

She accepts it with a smile, and unfolds it. And stares at it.

Okay, now I'm nervous.

It seems like forever before she looks up at me with a trembling smile. "Yes."

I let out the breath I've been holding and smile widely.

She carefully sets the paper on the end table, giving it one more look. "You're amazing," she says, almost to herself. Then she launches herself at me, and it's awkward in the corner of the couch but we're kissing and don't care. I have got to be the happiest man in the world. I know for a fact I'm the luckiest.

On the end table is a plain piece of white paper, with words I wrote myself, very carefully, without any help from anyone.

_Julie, Will you marry me? Love, R._

* * *

><p>All I can hear is the scuffing of our feet as we walk along the deserted road. Well, almost all. There are some birds, and in the distance I can faintly make out the sound of construction crews. Or maybe demolition crews.<p>

It reminds me of that day three months ago. I look sideways at my fiance and smile.

He catches me at it, of course. Always staring at me, paying attention to me. "What?"

"Oh, I was just thinking," I say, swinging our joined hands. "About that first time you tried to take me home."

He smiles back. "Let's hope no one shoots at us today."

I laugh quietly. "So many things have changed since then."

"Yeah."

We walk on in a restful silence. I'm enjoying the still-new sensation of exploring the outdoors, without fear of zombie attacks.

All the zombies are gone now, we think. The army and the corpses worked together to wipe out the skeletons - none of them had seemed interested in changing; they'd lost all shreds of humanity. They were only interested in killing. We've had enough death.

The corpses, on the other hand… it took some of them awhile, but we worked with them. Helped them. Connected with them. Eventually all of them learned how to live again.

Marcus was one of the first to come back to life - after R, of course. He lives near to my house (*our* house) now, actually, and comes to visit, which is nice. Turns out he's got a wicked deadpan sense of humor. At least I'm pretty sure it's humor. Nora and Kevin come over, too, sometimes.

I smile, and laugh a little, too. R glances at me, a question plain on his face. "Oh, it's nothing. I just was thinking about how we have people over. We enjoy the party, and then enjoy being together when they leave, just like I said in the suburbs three months ago."

He smiles back. "Not an open floor plan, though."

True, but irrelevant. I shrug. "Close enough."

"Were you really thinking about me when you said that?"

I ponder the question. "Yeah, I guess. We were talking about finding a house we both liked, so… it kind of fit. But then I remembered, and… I mean, I'd feel awkward about saying that to any guy, and then you…" I wave a hand to express what I don't want to say. "You were extra challenging. And I hardly knew you."

He nods. "I liked the idea - a lot - but I never thought it would happen either. Didn't even dare to imagine it."

"Well, we did save the world. A lot of things became possible."

After we cleared out the local zombies, one way or the other, we managed to find and contact a few other human settlements, to spread the news of the cure. Even the survivors of the camp have adjusted. The world had gotten so very very small, the last few years, but now it's opening up, and it seems like it goes on forever.

I still think about Perry sometimes, but I don't feel guilty anymore. It had taken me a while to come to terms with things. R's dream had helped, actually. I mean, I don't know whether that was really some remnant of Perry, lingering on in R's brain, or if it was all R's imagination - he has a pretty good imagination - but it sounded like Perry, so I ended up deciding to take it at face value.

As for the rest… "I'm glad you finally got to share your plane with me."

"Me, too. Your dad says we can keep it, by the way."

"Really?" I look up at him and laugh. "You asked?"

He shrugs, grinning. "You liked it. And I thought it'd be nice if we had a place to go sometimes, you know, like a vacation home. I would have gone for that place we stayed in the suburbs, but some group had already asked for the whole neighborhood."

I shrug back. "Too crowded there, anyway. The airport's pretty quiet these days - we might have almost the whole place to ourselves."

"Maybe. Sometimes."

"So, a private retreat… I like that. Just you and me."

"For a weekend, sometime, yeah."

"Or a honeymoon?"

He glances at me, amused. "I don't know about that. No beds. Those are kind of important for honeymoons."

"Hmm, good point. Okay, we'll think of something else." We may end up just staying in the house for two weeks, but that would be okay. Or maybe someone will discover a luxury resort that's in good shape. Who knows? It doesn't really matter, anyway. What matters is me and R being together.

We reach our destination, and R helps me climb onto the low wall on the side of the bridge, facing the city. "R?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember your name yet?"

"No." He shrugs. "Apparently I never liked it anyway."

"Well, you could just give yourself one. Pick one that you do like. Anything you want."

He considers it briefly, then shakes his head. "I like R."

I smile. "Okay, that works. I like R, too."

"The name?" he asks, a smile playing around his mouth.

"Yeah, that too." I smile and stretch up to kiss him briefly. "I like the name. I love the man."

"I love you too, Julie. So very, very much."

That look in his eyes is making me wish there was a bed here somewhere.

He knows it, too, and smiles at me. "None of that, now, Julie. We came out here for a reason."

I laugh, knowing we've got the rest of our lives. All the time in the world. "Right." I lean sideways, resting my head against his shoulder. In a peaceful silence, we watch the city walls light up with sparks, and see them crumble down. "No more barriers."

He reaches for my hand. "Just connections."

It's a beautiful sunset.

THE END

A/N: Thanks for following along with this! Brigid, you are a rockstar reviewer, thank you!

For my own amusement I'm gonna list the songs that contributed the chapter titles. I was going to give links to watch music videos, but this site works hard to make that impossible...

**Would You Love a Monsterman** by **Lordi**. The song gave me titles for chapters 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, and 7, and of course the entire story as well. I was going to use this song for naming all the chapters, but there turned out to be a few too many chapters :)

**Soldier** by **Samantha Jade.** This one gave me the title of chapter 4.

**Counting Stars** by **One Republic**. This contributed chapter titles for chapters 8, 9, 10, and 11. (The lovely and talented NotMarge made a music vid to this one - search YouTube for "Love In a Time of Apocalypse" by StillNot Marge.)

Thanks for reading this far :)


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